Post-Christmas, Pre-New Year

I’ve restrained myself from criticizing the weather because of what happened the last time I did it, but I think it really needs to be said: this has got to be the hottest Christmas holiday!

Anyway, today is the last working day for the year. Woo Boo hoo. I’m really looking forward to another long weekend because I am tired na from work. It’s especially tiring when you’re trying your damnedest to ignore your it’s-the-holidays-you-idiots!-mood while working at the same time. And especially when most of your friends are on vacation leave and you’re left to wander around Makati by your lonesome! I wish I would be with friends tonight. Pero iniwan niyo akong lahat! Hahaha! Kidding!

I have an early New Year’s resolution which came to me last Dec. 23 – next year, I will no longer give presents to my godchildren and relatives, I will just give them cash. While it’s true that I still love buying gifts and wrapping gifts, the past three Christmases I was always in cramming mode when it comes to buying stuffs and wrapping these up! Blame it on my habit of procrastinating (pwede namang ang New Year’s resolution ko ay wag ng mag-procrastinate, pero hindi na lang. I love procrastinating!). And yep, blame it on those ungrateful brats who couldn’t appreciate the effort, care and obsession I put into in selecting and wrapping their gifts. Aba, ma-effort kaya ang maghanap ng magandang regalo pero cheap!

It was a real crazy year – but that’s for another entry! I’m just not in the mood to file documents right now (another New Year’s resolution?) and I feel a bit lonely here so I just want to blog for a while.

(Which reminds me - I have not shared yet what happened to me last Friday! As if I need another proof that my crybaby days are back, I found myself crying while I was stuck in traffic! I don’t know which part of that sentence is the least surprising – the one about the horrendous traffic situation in Manila or the one about me crying for the most shallow of reasons.

So, anyway, here I was, stuck somewhere in the Pier area in Manila, with my car sandwiched amongst ginormous trucks, listening to the live broadcast of Gary V.’s concert in Eastwood and I was crying. The culprits? Reaching Out and Take Me Out Of The Dark. Kumusta naman yun?! Well, maybe it's my way of coping with paranoia because everytime I look behind, the headrest at the backseat seemed to contain a head! Scary!)

Die, LTO, Die! [Or, How I Barely Survived Applying For A Driver's License]

I took a one day leave last Tuesday to apply for a driver’s license. I was told that the processing will only take half a day but I figured I’ll take the whole day off so I don’t have to rush going back to the office.

It took me two fucking days to get my fucking license.

The first day was just so shitty. I went to LTO Tayuman around 9 in the morning, thinking how convenient it is to live close to the licensing center – and then the guard told me that slippers are not allowed inside [for the record, I was wearing jeans and flip flops from Petit Monde. Okay, I know it’s no Havaiannas, but I don’t think even Havaiannas are allowed]. So I went home to change into appropriate footwear. I rushed back to LTO and was on the line to submit the requirements when the stupid transformer exploded. In short, brown-out sa LTO. So I asked for other LTO licensing centers and I was told to go to LTO Kalookan.

I’d like to mention at this point of my story that I chose to do this [applying for driver’s license] the right way – meaning I won’t seek “assistance” from fixers and I won’t give “lagay” to the LTO officials. I never thought that doing something right can feel so fucking wrong.

And I also realized that the LTO office in Kalookan is a jungle of madness.

First sign of madness – I paid P50 for the medical exam, and all the “doctor” ever did was ask me if I wear contact lenses. He didn’t even take my blood pressure. Take note that his ‘clinic’ is located inside the LTO premises.

Second sign of madness – Reviewer for the written examinations were being sold in front of the center for ten bucks. I didn’t buy thinking that the information I needed will be discussed during lecture. Keep this information in mind since this has a bearing in my story later on.

Third sign of madness – A lot of the applicants were blatantly wearing slippers. Most guys are in shorts. Some were even wearing sleeveless shirts. Don’t you just love it that you’re the one who got caught when you do something wrong and everyone else gets away with it?

Fourth sign of madness – The person in charge of receiving the documents [and take note that the scope of his duties and responsibilities is to check if the applicants has all the required documents. I mean, how fucking difficult and time-consuming is that?!] told those who were in line to submit their documents to go back by 1pm due to lunch break. The time? 11:30 am.

So half of my day was gone with nothing to show for it.

I was in line at exactly 1pm but the clerk would not take our papers until he has called all those who were able to submit their papers before he declared his half an hour early lunch break to make them sign the logsheet. I can’t begin to describe how appalled and frustrated I am at the inefficient clerk [trust me, he will only get worse later]. After an eternity and a half, my papers were finally accepted and I was told to once again wait.

So I patiently waited to be called to sign the logsheet. I patiently waited to be called to have my picture taken. I patiently waited to be called to pay at the cashier’s window – a call that took a long time to come.

Fifth sign of madness – an hour had passed since my picture was taken and I’m yet to be called at the cashier’s window. Slightly impatient, I asked the cashier why I was not yet called. “System slow down”, the cashier tersely replied. Not entirely satisfied with the explanation but thinking that there’s really nothing I can do at the moment, I sat down to wait some more.

Sixth sign of madness – I couldn’t wait any longer. It’s almost 4 in the afternoon already, I haven’t paid anything, I haven’t sat down for the lecture, I haven’t taken the written and practical exam and there’s still a long line of people waiting for the releasing of their license. I went again to the cashier’s window to ask for the status of my application and she rudely told me to proceed back to inefficient clerk. So I went back to the first window and asked for the status of my application. The inefficient clerk just smiled stupidly and told me to wait more. Wrong answer! I told him I had been waiting since 1pm and it’s already 4pm and he told me “Ay, ganon talaga! Mag-aantay ka.” Tang-ina! Wrong answer lalo! I am just so mad and I was almost shouting when I said: “Anong ganon talaga?! Yung mga kasabay kong nagpa-picture kanina tinawag na sa lecture room ako nandito pa din!” and the idiot had the gall to tell me: “Sigurado ka?”. I can’t believe I dignified his idiocy by answering: “Sasabihin ko ba yun kung hindi?! Alas kwatro na kaya, and all I ever did was have my picture taken! Matatapos ko ba to?! Rata-ta-ta-tat!!!”. The other clerk noticed the racket I was making and approached the window to ask for my surname. I immediately gave it and was told that the processing was delayed because there was a problem with my application. I asked her what the problem was and she launched into a long winded explanation about my middle name being inputted wrongly and I had stopped listening then because that was the lamest and totally irrelevant excuse I ever heard and that would have been useful the first time I asked for the status and not at that moment when I am so, so sure that I had paid too much, once again, for their incompetency. So I sat back once again, pissed off, frustrated, and wondering what the hell I have done to deserve all these.

I feel like my application papers were being passed around the LTO with the note: check this stupid girl. She’s being ridiculously stupid for thinking that she can get by without “oiling our machines”. Make life hard for her so that she’ll learn her lesson next time. Well, of course, it’s just paranoid thinking [can you just imagine the LTO people wording a note the way I did?], but I’m really not in a good mood. What incense me all the more about these people is that they are inefficient and discourteous and the taxes I’m remitting to the government were being use to pay for them to be inefficient and discourteous! And they expect me to pay them lagay for them to function the way they should?! [they even had this slogan displayed prominently: Practice ABC: Always Be Courteous. Tae.]

You know what? As I was typing this, I can feel my blood boiling again.

Seventh sign of madness – After a few minutes, they finally called me at the cashier’s window. The cashier asked for a rounded off amount of the fee when the display clearly stated how much the fees are. I was too tired to ask her to give me a change [since she clearly has no intention of giving me any] and to compute how much she money she’s unduly receiving for not giving loose change to all the applicants. But yeah, shameless corruption.

Eighth sign of madness – I was finally in the lecture area. But after a few minutes, it became apparent that no lecture is about to take place. Well, the hell with the lecture, and the hell with not buying the 10-peso reviewer. I barged in the examination room and told the clerk I want to take the exam. I took the exam in a state of extreme frustration, fatigue and ignorance so I am not feeling confident at that moment. I was probably throwing away my chances of owning a driver’s license, but what the heck! After the events of that day, I lost the excitement I have for owning that piece of plastic.

After the exam, I called my mom and told her that I would just commute going home. I board a jeep that says “LRT Monumento” but got a jolt of panic when the ride stops somewhere that is clearly not within the viciniyt of the LRT and definitely not in Monumento. You just hand it to Luck for forsaking me big time that day. I decided to just go in the direction where most of the people are going.

While walking alone, pissed off and totally ignorant of the place, I had this mad urge to cry. The thing is, I haven’t cried for myself for a long time and how lame is it to be doing it again for the most babaw of reasons?! I hate myself for feeling that way, because I’m supposed to be this strong, independent person and I’m crying because I was lost. No, it’s more than that, I’m crying because I had been monumentally stupid that day and I realized how much I wanted to be with someone that day and I feel so alone and I hate myself for doing this to myself because I’m too proud to ask for help and because I don’t want to be disappointed when my plea for help gets rejected. [and yeah, I sounded like a whiny bitch in that last sentence.] I’m probably making a big deal out of what happened to me but I couldn’t help the way I feel. I couldn’t even ask for directions because I might just burst out crying. Thankfully, I get to where I’m supposed to go, I was able to restrain my emotions and I was able to go home safe and without any katarayan unjustly directed to other people.

The following day, I had to go back to the jungle.

Luckily, I passed the written examination. Unfortunately, the stupid office didn’t have any vehicle with an automatic transmission that I can use for my practical exam! How lame is that? So I had to call my mom [who dropped me by and were on their way to Mandaluyong] and ask if they can go back so that I can use our car for the practical. As if this act of getting a license has not bothered me enough. While waiting for the car, I had this sinking feeling that I might be the only applicant in this godforsaken place who actually took the practical exam. Not a really comforting idea, and the one who administered the practical exam is not making things any better. He’s a surly man who didn’t seem to relish going out to actually do his job! And I’m getting this vibes that he is only looking for lagay. Sorry, but I had gone this far without any help from fixers and/or government employees. Why should this time be any different? The result: they made me wait until afternoon to release my license. And they made me pay 20 bucks for the plastic license holder.

So, after two days, much swearing and shitload of frustrations, I finally have the fucking privilege of owning a fucking government issued driver’s license with my shitty picture on it. I should at least feel relief, but instead, I feel like I was punished for doing it right. If it’s any consolation, I have 2 years and 6 months to abuse my privilege.

Masama na kung masama, pero pagdating ng renewal ko, sa fixer ang takbo ko.

Beybi You Can Drive My Car!

Yahoo! My baby’s plate is finally freakin’ available! It took a while to get the plate because I requested to have a plate ending in 8, not knowing that ending 8 plates are in demand, especially among Chinoys who believe that 8 is a lucky number. Well, I’m neither a Chinoy nor do I believe in lucky numbers, but I chose 8 for the simple reason that it is my fave number. So even if my dealer suggested getting another plate, my stubborn self insisted on my heart’s desire. Now I got it and it was worth the wait. =)

And yes, the arrival of my plate couldn’t come at a better time as I received yesterday my first traffic warning from an honorable police officer hahaha… It was one of those weird incident that we got accosted after more than a month of driving without a plate, and it happened very near our place! I mean, my car’s been practically everywhere, from Manila to Quezon City to Pasay to Makati to Mandaluyong. Heck, my baby’s been to Candelaria, Quezon! (yep, my heart broke a little that my car had traveled that far. Pero hindi ko naman binili ang kotse para igarahe lang di ba?). But I guess luck was a bit on our side because it wasn’t me who’s driving the car – me the one without a license! Imagine how much trouble that would cost us.

It was also one of those rare instances that I felt shutting up my mouth would be to our advantage, since I had a dozen or so retort I'm inching to say to the police and his lecture. And I never said anything to him that sounded mataray! Well, I guess in the process, I also almost sold my younger brother (who was driving the car) down the river. The police asked who the owner of the car was and I said that it was me and then he asked me what my relation is to the driver and I said that he’s my brother. Then the police said: “eh pano yan, yung kapatid mo ang titiketan ko?” and with the merest hint of hesitation I said: “Ok.”. So how’s that for sisterly love?

As it turned out, we escaped with just a first warning scribbled at the back of the C/R, since the police didn’t have any traffic violation tickets with him (and how fishy is that?!). And no, I didn’t bribe the police with money or anything. I was willing though, to tell you the truth. I was just waiting for them to broach it, which they didn’t. So, props to these distinguished members of the police force from leading me away from my first act of bribery hehehe… Although, come to think of it, we don’t really have a traffic violation, do we? My car was duly registered with the LTO and I have the O/R C/R to prove it. It just so happens that the plate is not yet available, and whose fault is that? (The Chinese’ fault, of course, for hoarding the ending 8 plates. Hahaha. Just kidding.)

***

I realized why I never really warmed up to the idea of me driving my brothers around. They’re the worst kind of backseat driver! Last Saturday night, my younger brother (the one who almost got a traffic violation ticket) and I decided to drive around in the Baywalk area (which was such a bad idea, by the way, as the traffic situation there was horrendous on that particular day) to, uh, improve my driving skills. Well, it was my multitasking skills that I had called upon to salvage me, as I found myself driving (which in itself involves multitasking) and having a shouting match with my brother. I mean, I think I could have driven better if he wasn’t shouting his criticisms and making me more nervous than necessary. Among other things, he had issues with me hogging the lanes (oy, nawawala ka na naman sa linya! san ka ba talaga?!) and my distance on the passenger side (masyado kang maluwag dito!). The first one, I grudgingly admit, is a valid observation, while the second one I had to protest. In the first place, he volunteered to check on the right side as I can’t see clearly the right side mirror (mag-drive ka na lang, ako na bahala dito). And that one instance I almost crashed into a center island was because I got rattled by his loud, panicky voice (OY! SAN KA PUPUNTA?!!!). I didn’t really have to mind the center island because the road is divided into four lanes and the two lanes were separated by an island but all the lanes are going in the same direction and I was following this car because he told me to stay in one lane and the car was on the third lane and it should have been that lane we take because we’re going in this freakin’ direction! If my explanation is too long (and kinda magulo. but believe me, my excuse is valid), well, imagine me saying those words (in Tagalog, or course) to my younger brother while I was driving. So, yeah, I don’t think there’ll be much coaching happening between us. And I think the feeling is mutual.

I still like driving, but if I have a choice, I would rather be in the passenger seat. I like looking out of the window at the sceneries, at the other motor vehicles around me, and I like observing my surroundings, and not in the way that a defensive driver is expected to do, for my and my passengers’ safety, as well as that of other motorists and pedestrians.

Oh, and the best part about driving your own car? You get to sing out loud, to your heart’s content. Try doing that when you’re commuting!

Driving Lessons - Orientation

Last Sunday I officially started my driving lesson via an orientation class held at A1 Driving School – SM North Edsa branch. As usual, I got confused again as to directions that I ended up circling the main building before finding their office. How’s that for a preview of my navigation skills?

I was getting some paranoid thoughts on my way there. I had to ask myself how I would feel if there won’t be other students there and I might end up having a one-one orientation with the instructor. To my surprise and intense relief, I got there and saw a lot of attendees. At least I won’t be alone in my ignorance!

Again, I was surprised when the instructor started discussing the basics on how to drive a car. I expected that it would just be a briefing of the rules and regulations of the school. And it confirmed my fear that I am expected to immediately drive (crash?) the car on my first day of actual driving. Scary! Being eager to learn and do well, I took some notes. And I think I’m the only one who took down notes like I have an exam the following day. I asked the first question because I can’t help myself – I wanna know! My question? In manual transmission, why can’t you stay in one gear? Why do you have to shift gears regularly? Not a bad question, but as I would be driving an automatic, irrelevant. Still, nice to know, right? So after that, the other students asked their questions, too, while I was left to ponder in silence whether automatic is really the better option than manual. Both seemed complicated enough for me.

They said that driving a car is just like riding bump cars (sans the objective of bumping into other cars) and is relatively easy enough. Well, they forgot to tell me that apart from the gas pedal, brake pedal and steering wheel, I also had to deal with the use of the handbrake, when to apply half brake or full brake, when to put the car in neutral, how to turn right or left, what is an odometer and a tachometer, and about a million things I never really thought about when driving bump cars. Not to mention the various damages I might deal to the car if I don’t do some things properly. I sense a big bill coming up on my first maintenance inspection.

The instructor was very good at explaining stuffs; my ignorance level dropped a few points. He also got a good sense of humor – it took off some nervousness I felt. He kept on telling us to not panic during driving lessons and to develop self confidence. Easy for him to say…

Well, I think I’m good. I’m psyching myself up for my first actual driving. The instructor said that I’m insured, the driving instructor is insured and the car is insured, so, no worries. How cool is that? Any lady friends who want to volunteer to chaperone me? But you better have complete confidence in me since chaperones aren’t insured.

Gusto Kong Matutong Mag-Drive!

This Sunday, I will start doing something I had never plan to do in my lifetime, ever: I will learn how to drive.

Of course, I’ve always wanted to own a car (my dream car was a Rav4 and recently, a Mazda 3. But even my dreams won’t let me have these). But I’ve never seen the need to actually have the skill to drive because I the way I figured it, I have 4 brothers I can rely on to chauffeur me around (and if I’ll ever have a BF/husband, he’ll be the one to drive for me. Best reason to have a BF hehehe!!!) Also, I don’t think I’ll be a welcome contribution to the road as I’m too quick-tempered and too tulala to be left on my own devices on the driver’s seat.

So, one of my plans for the year was to buy a car. Initially, I’m okay with just a second-hand unit. Well, I suffer the worst of luck when it comes to scouring for the perfect second-hand car, not to mention that my being an ignoramus when it comes to cars (mags? Anong mags?) had me doubting whether I was really getting a good deal or not. So after 4 prospects, 2 heartbreaks (because 2 of these prospects I really, really liked) and lots of stress, I decided to just get a brand new car – but not after my dad promised to share with the cost (read: the distribution is not 50-50. Guess who got the bad end of the deal).

So now I have car (which will be released to me on Tuesday) but – no driver yet. I can’t really expect anything from my 2 older brothers as the eldest has a family of his own and is living far from us and the other is in Singapore. And I sure can’t get love from the 2 younger brothers who I sometimes have to bribe just to do something for me (and who wouldn’t even drop me off to Starbucks in their scooter). Which leaves me with no choice but to learn how to drive. (And here I would like to emphasize that I have 4 brothers and I am the only girl, the unica hija… yeah, screw that pampered princess dream. It would never ever happen in this lifetime.)

The excitement over a new car is slowly and deliberately being killed by my anxiety over my driving lessons. Driving is a skill, and I’m afraid to find out that I don’t have it and – Oh my God! How totally embarrassing would that be?! This Sunday would just be lecture – it’s the actual driving with an instructor that I’m not exactly looking forward to. Imagine 10 hours worth of driving lessons with a stranger. Yeah, poor instructor. Imagine being stuck in the road with a moron.

I hope this fear is just the same as the ones I felt in the past when I experience something for the first time: that the actual experience is less scary than when you were anticipating for it.

Wish me luck on my driving lessons. And pray for my instructor and the pedestrians and motorists I would encounter down the road, for their sanity and safety, respectively.