PE Time!

Some choicest words you wish you could use on employee performance evaluation - of your boss!

• Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
• His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
• I would not allow this employee to breed.
• This employee has delusions of adequacy.
• This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't be.
• This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
• This employee sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
• Got a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
• This employee has been working with glue too much.
• When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
• The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• If this employee were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
• It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this person beat out 1,000,000 others.
• The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
• When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet.
• He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
• This employee should go far and the sooner the better.
• A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
• He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
• He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
• He would argue with a signpost.
• He has a knack of making strangers immediately.
• He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
• If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
• A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens.
• A prime candidate for natural deselection.
• Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it.
• If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
• One neuron short of a synapse.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he just gargled.
• He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
• Technically sound, but socially impossible.
• This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
• He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.