Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Cold Hearted Bitch

I got another lecture on How Not To Act When You’re Naiinis Sa Isang Tao – i.e. don’t be too obvious. In short, don’t act like me.

I hate it when I get these kinds of lectures. It makes me feel guilty for being cold, like I am the bad guy. In the first place, hindi ako maiinis kung walang dahilan. What about MY reasons for acting the way I do?

It's not as if I'm telling everybody who listens: "Boo hoo. That person did something to me. Wag niyo din siyang pansinin". My inis is my own and I never ask others to be inis for my sake. But I won't apologize for making that person feel uncomfortable because of my silences. By all means talk to her and ignore me if it will make her feel better.

Can’t I at least act according to how I feel and for once not have to care how I make other people feel?

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Seven

Bored. Confused. Trying to Forget. Walang Magawa.

Seven things I want to do before I die:

1. Travel the whole country and other parts of the world
2. Bungee jump
3. Get a tattoo
4. Shave my head
5. Do the dance lift in Dirty Dancing
6. Reconnect with old friends
7. Sleep with any of my celebrity crushes hahaha!

Seven things I cannot do:

1. Drive a stick shift or whatever you call manual transmission cars
2. Write legibly using my right hand
3. Sit through a Regine Velasquez concert
4. Eat raisins
5. Whistle
6. Keep a straight face
7. Forgive myself for falling for you. Yatta! Joke! Ala na ko maisip.

Seven things that attract me to both a boy and a girl:

Bakit naman both? Pwede bang boy lang?
1. Sensible talker
2. Sense of humor
3. Eyes
4. A closet Incurable Romantic
5. Taste in music
6. Should be a basketball fanatic
7. Okay, fine, nice butt.

Seven things that I say most often:

1. "Duh!"
2. "Heller?!"
3. "Ano…"
4. "Syet!"
5. "…or something?"
6. "What the…?"
7. "Umm…"

Seven books I love to read:

Can I just put the 7 HP books and be done with it?
1. Harry Potter books 1 to 7
2. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
3. Foxtrot treasuries
4. Bob Ong books
5. The Balance of Power (Richard North Patterson)
6. Thursday Next series
7. Artemis Fowl series

Seven movies I could watch over and over again:

1. The Wedding Singer
2. Lord Of The Rings trilogy
3. Back to the Future trilogy
4. The Cutting Edge
5. Speed
6. Karate Kid
7. Sana Maulit Muli (hahaha!)

I'm The Queen of Wishful Thinking

Break muna from my drama ek ek.

Where were you when it turned 2007?
++ home, with family and friends and too toot!

How did you get the idea for your blog name?
++ it’s a line from an Eraserheads’ song “Slo Mo”. My first ever blog was named Tindahan Ni Aling Dyela and I wanted another name that has reference to Eheads. I know, too random!

What song are you listening to right now?
++ Run by Snow Patrol, repeatedly. To drown my sorrow hahaha…

Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
++ yep, but that’s probably because I cry easily over shallow things.

What color of shorts are you wearing?
++ black with yellowish thin vertical stripes.

Do you talk to your crush?
++ yes, and I almost wish I never ever had one conversation with him! Hahaha! Dammit.

What did you do this morning?
++ woke up, daydreamed a bit before getting up.

What will you do tonight?
++ probably finish Kingdom 8-7 of Super Mario on NDS lite. Man, was I royally pissed when I finished the last kingdom battle with the resurrected bones of King Koopa only to have Bowser Jr. open a new freakin’ set of stages before the real, final kingdom!!!

What's your favorite memory from last weekend?
++ I’m a bit embarrassed to say that last weekend was like any normal day for me.

What are the last two digits of your mobile number?
++ 24

What was the last thing you ate?
++ Growers Crumble Nuts, Jamaican BBQ flavor.

What was last thing you drank?
++ Toffe Nut frap.

What was the last movie you watched?
++ this afternoon at HBO – My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

What do you fear right now?
++ that I can’t go through what I promised myself to do.

What food do you crave right now?
++ now that you mention it, I think I want shrimps from Bubba Gump!

Did you dream last night?
++ yes, but I forgot the gist.

What was the last TV show you watched?
++ same with number 14

What is your favorite piece of jewelry?
++ earrings.

Name a friend who is just like you?
++ like me how? I guess all of my friends are like me, one way or another.

What was the last thing you kept telling yourself over and over?
++ so not worth it.

Who last text messaged you?
++ my cousin.

Are you on any medication?
++ nope.

What side of the bed do you sleep on?
++ I’m the toss and turn kind of sleeper so I get to sleep on all sides of my bed.

What color shirt are you wearing?
++ pink. great.

What is your favorite frozen treat?
++ water!

How many piercings do you have?
++ three

What's your favorite store/s?
++ Powerbooks

Are you thirsty right now?
++ No.

Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss?
++ lots of friends. sad.

What did you do last night?
++ read a book.

Do you care what people think about you?
++ not particularly.

Have you ever done something to investigate trouble?
++ yes.

When was the last time you worked out?
++ what was the question again?

What are your font colors on YM?
++ blue, of course.

Where do you live?
++ Tondo, Manila.

Are you aggressive?
++ I think so, hahaha…

Mobile phone network?
++ Globe

What is the thing that you would most like to change about yourself?
++ my height?

What size are your feet?
++ 5 to 6. It varies depending on the type and brand of shoes.

What are ur favorite colors?
++ blue, black, purple.

Do you like mustard?
++ not really.

What do you tell people when times get hard?
++ I’m not really big on advices and stuffs, so I don’t remember giving a specific advice when times get hard.

Would you ever sky dive?
++ yes!

Do you sleep on your side, tummy or back?
++ side, tummy and back

Have you ever bid for something on eBay?
++ not yet.

Will you stay in the game called love?
++ I was about to give up but I thought, “what the hell? You win some, you lose some. I’m bound to win one of these days.” Nakana! But oh so true.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Fallen

Something I wrote a long time ago:

delusions
reckless.
i chose this path and that decision was mine to make. what does it matter if i get hurt in the end? i am happy now and that's all that matters.
now i'm hurting. i only got myself to blame.
regrets.
not my word. as long as i have my memories, i can live with my actions. the price one pays for momentary bliss.
i'm a short term peter pan.
Posted on 2005.05.02


In time, the urge to become a "short term peter pan" disappeared and I become more mindful of my actions.

But lately I am being reckless again. Or not entirely reckless but I keep telling myself I know just when to stop indulging in this silly game. Anyway, it was only for a few more days and then it'll be gone. But the momentary bliss that my few encounters and out of reach fantasies afford were not even enough to hide the fact that I am only making myself vulnerable again.

But that was my choice, wasn't it? I've always believe that I am capable of accepting the consequences of my choices - a belief too optimistic to the point of foolishness that I can handle what I know is inevitable.

Oh, I can handle it fine. I wish it didn't have to be so hard.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Wake Me Up When November Ends

Lesson For The Day:

Mahirap magpa-cute kapag wala naman ang pinagpapacute-an mo.


I'm so freakin' sad...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Ssshh...

If I were to contribute to PostSecret, this is what I would confess:


I almost always check out guys’ butts – and I’m quite surprised you got nice ones!



Hihihi… Eherm. Sorry for the confession, but I saw my crush today and it was the first time I noticed it in him!

(Yeah, yeah, I know he’s married but I can’t help it!)

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Lutheus


(Edited: I'm sorry, but the freakin' embed object is not working. I'll just post the picture here. The link to the site can also be found here. Try to fix the tags later. Grr.)


Isn't my dæmon such a regal creature? And I like his name, too!

Dæmons, according to Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy, are the physical manifestation of a person's soul. They will settle into a definite form when a child reaches a mature personality, and the form that the dæmon settles into is reflective of the person's characteristics. I don't know about being modest, humble and a leader, but I know I'm definitely inquisitive and fickle!

I've only read the first book of the trilogy but I'm not sure if I want to buy the other two (unless somebody else will buy it for me *wink*wink*). The book was well-written, the plot is a lot engaging than Eragon's, but there's something lacking with its main character. Well, I think the problem is with me, because whenever I read books like these, I tend to compare it with - what else? - Harry Potter. And Harry, in spite his faults and weaknesses, is someone I can totally relate to and empathize with, and I never have that same feeling towards Eragon or Lyra, the protagonist in the His Dark Materials trilogy.

Philip Pullman's books are not without their own share of controversies - I think there's been call to boycott the film because of its anti-Christian themes. Me? I think I'll still be watching the movie, because Lord Asriel will be played by Daniel Craig. Lord Asriel is my favorite character in the book and Daniel Craig is just handsome.

Aftermath

After drowning myself in depression because of that piece of information, I thought of the following lines from a song that's quite right for me:


Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me, too
You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky girl
You'll never never know
The one who loves you so
But you don't know me...


Yuck, corny...

Pero naisip ko din naman, kahit naman siguro gumawa ako ng moves to get to know him better, wala din namang mangyayari, he'll still marry his girl. Kahit assume pa natin na the impossible happen and he finds himself falling for me in such a short time, hindi din ako siguro comfortable na maging cause ng break up nilang dalawa.

But I can't pretend that I am not massively disappointed. Siguro kasi ngayon lang nangyari kasi sa akin na magka-crush sa isang guy who turns out na married na pala. It's not naman that I was expecting that we could progress beyond being sort-of-friends into something special (expecting is not synonymous with daydreaming, okay?), pero siguro the thought na you're into someone and there's a tiny, teensy weensy chance that you can be together, pero biglang naglaho yung ilusyon because he's married to someone, ouch.

Hay naku nag-overanalyze na naman ako!

Bakit ba yung mga guys na gusto ko hindi na pwede? O kung single naman, ayaw naman sa akin? O single at gusto din naman ako, pero ayoko naman sa kanya? Hindi naman ako nagmamadali, pero nakakainis lang kasi. Minsan lang ako magka-crush ng ganito ka-serious, olats pa.

O sige na tama na ang drama. Hanap uli ng bagong prospect!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Love Lies Lost

I never ever imagined that happiness could be this fleeting.

I just found out that my crush – you know, the ONE who sang Upside Down to me, the ONE that’s been making me happy just by the mere sight of him – is already married. Just this July!


Oh, the hurt! The aching! The agony!

My heart has just been turned upside down…


Well I just wanted to say that I need you today
Tell me, it’s all gonna work out all right
Don’t know where I should start, but with all of my heart
Baby let me be your lover tonight…

Baby you don’t understand
Our love lies lost
But you’re still holding my hand
Oh and then you walk away
Just as I, I wanted to say…

You’re turning me on, you turn me around
You turn my whole world upside down…

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Chasing Cars

There are certain things in life that can make you forget all the bad things in this world – the wars being waged in other countries, the sub-prime woes of the US market, the recent bombing in Batasan, the writers’ strike, the cheap feud over Dennis Trillo, the worsening traffic situation that accompanies the Christmas season, the deluge of yet more boring revivals in the music industry, the social climber from FX hell that you want to bitch slap.




Certain things - like being in close proximity to my crush.


Mind you, I am still grinning like a fool. A very happy fool.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Strike! You're Out!


Dear US TV and movie producers,

Imagine my dismay and horror when I learned that today’s episode of Prison Break is the fall finale and the series won’t be returning until January 18. January 18! That’s two freakin’ months without Scofield on my TV screen!!! I cannot wait two freakin’ months!

And then there’s also the accelerated finale of Heroes by December. Damn it! Only 11 episodes for Heroes?!! Right when everything starts to get really interesting and exciting?

Can you please go back to the negotiation tables so that the writers’ strike would end sooner? So that everybody will happy? Especially us the viewers?

Always,
This TV Adik

Monday, November 12, 2007

Bora Thoughts: The Bane Of My Existence...


…(which I think is the same for most women) is the monthly “visitor”. Unlike how it must be for some, mine sucks in that it is irregular in it’s, uh, visit.

What sucks even more is that it seemed to visit when it is uninvited. Like, right in the afternoon when you FINALLY have a free time to do stuffs in this paradise of an island that aren’t work related.

It’s times like this when I truly wish I was a man.

Bora Thoughts: Coolness Defined


(I’m too lazy to recount my weekend experience so I decided to just post the snippets I wrote the way I posted them in my celfone – you know, in snippets! Here’s the first one):

I wish I was cool, you know? Like, the kind of cool who can drink socially and not throw up after her first glass of artic currant. The kind of cool who can stroll down the beach in the middle of the day and not break out later into allergies. The kind of cool who can sunbath and get a decent tan.

Turns Green With Envy

Bom wrote in her blog about how “galit ang magnanakaw sa kapwa magnanakaw” and I commented there that some would say that “we hate people who we envy”.

Guess what? I just got the perfect example:

Person #1: (referring to a gay person) siya lang yung ganito dito, no?
Person #2: kasi yung iba ayaw magladlad. (followed by a very pointed silence)

And then person #1 goes on to rant about how the gay person shouldn’t expect to get respected because he acts that way (he’s the loud and gimmicky type). What he doesn’t know is that anybody who hears his rants is just dying to tell him what a filthy hypocrite he is. If I wasn't so busy trying to stop my eyes from rolling, I would have asked him what the fuck his problem is. As it was, there's no need to stop my eye roll - he's too busy congratulating himself for being the perfect creature that he is.

Shame how the biggest homophobes in this world are those who cannot admit to themselves how much they wanted to be like the person they hate so much.

Whatever Happened To Love?!

(Meant to post this before the weekend.)

Found this hilarious exchange through Jessica Zafra’s
blog.

***
What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?


Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

High School's The Best!

I got this survey from a posting in Friendster's bulletin board. I enjoyed answering it because it reminded me kung gano ako kagulo nung high school! Definitely one of the best part of my life!

Look back at your high school life.
Lagyan ng 'x' sa gitna ng [ ] kapag ito ay naaangkop sa iyo!

[ ] Nagcutting ka na? (NUNG HIGH SCHOOL HINDI KASI ANG GALING MAGBANTAY NG MGA GUARDS AT KELANGAN NG PRINCIPAL'S PERMIT PARA LANG MAKALABAS NG BUILDING. NUNG COLLEGE, HINDI NA MAHIGPIT KAYA NAKAPAG-CUTTING AKO)

[x] Ginagawang basketball/ volleyball/ kahit anong court ang classroom niyo. (GINAGAWA DING PRAKTISAN NG INTERMISSION NUMBERS AT CHEERING)

[x] Palabas-labas ka ng room kapag nababagot. (LALO NA PAG IW - AT LALO NA NUNG 4TH YEAR DAHIL MALAPIT LANG SA DOOR ANG SEAT KO. TAMBAY SA LIBRARY PARA MAGBASA NG POCKETBOOK O PATAYAIN SA ENDING ANG HEAD LIBRARIAN)

[x] Sumisigaw ka at ginagawang playground ang room kapag walang teacher.

[x] Hindi ka nakikinig sa mga sermon ng mga guro at madalas ay nakikipag-sign language ka pa sa classmate mo. (SIGN LANGUAGE ALSO APPLICABLE BELOW)

[x] Nangongopya ka o nagpapakopya ka kahit short quiz lamang.

[ ] Nahuli ka na pero hindi ka pa rin tumitigil sa pangongopya. (GALING MAGTAGO!)

[ ] Tinataasan mo ng boses ang iyong titser.

[ ] Nakikinig ka sa iPod/MP3/walkman/radio mo habang naglelesson ang iyong titser. (NEVER NAMAN KAMING NAKINIG HABANG NAGTUTURO, PERO NANGHIHIRAM PA KAMI NG CASSETTE PLAYER SA OFFICE KAHIT HINDI NAMAN KAILANGAN PARA LANG MAKINIG SA COUNTDOWN NI TRIGGERMAN) (BUHAY PA BA SI TRIGGERMAN?)

[x] Nandoktor ka na ng mga test paper. (DI KO SURE KUNG HIGH SCHOOL O COLLEGE PERO NUNG NAG-EXCHANGE PAPERS PARA I-CHECK, MERON AKONG SINAGUTAN NA TEST PAPER NG CLASSMATE KO. NAKIPAGPALITAN NA DIN AKO NG TEST PAPER DURING A QUIZ)

[x] Pinagtatawanan mo ang teacher mo at kahit anong simpleng bagay na mapapansin mo sa classroom.

[x] Nagsusulatan kayo ng mga kaklase mo habang nagtuturo ang inyongguro. (NATAGO KO PA YUNG IBANG EBIDENSYA NG PAGSUSULATAN!)

[ ] Kapag umalis ang inyong guro ay tinitingnan mo ang kanyang lessonplan.

[x] Kumakain ka habang nagtuturo ang inyong guro.

[x] Nagtetext ka habang nagtuturo ang inyong guro. (DI PA USO TEXT NUN, PERO MADAMI PWEDENG GAWIN HABANG NAGTUTURO ANG TITSER. HALIMBAWA NA LANG ANG MAGBASA NG POCKETBOOK, O MANGOPYA SA CLASSMATE NG ACTIVITY NA DUE SA NEXT PERIOD, O KOPYAHIN ANG MGA ACTIVITIES NA NINENOK SA ACTIVITY BOARD NA PINAGKAAYOS AYOS ANG PRESENTATION, MAGSULAT NG LYRICS NG KANTA SA BINDER O SA LIKOD NG BOOK, DALDALIN ANG SEATMATE, ISULAT ANG PANGALAN NG CRUSH SA BINDER O SA KAHIT ANONG PAPEL, PRAKTISIN PUMIRMA NG PANGALAN KASAMA ANG APELYIDO NG CRUSH, KULITIN ANG TITSER NA MAG-IW NA LANG KESA MAG-ENCOUNTER, AT MARAMI PANG IBA)

[ ] Tumatayo ka sa klase kahit hindi ka sinasabihang tumayo.

[x] Nagsusulat ka sa whiteboard kahit bawal at wala ang teacher mo.

[ ] Kapag walang kwenta ang subject at ang teacher, sadyang masarap matulog. (HINDI PA KO NAKATULOG SA CLASSROOM, PERO NAKATULOG AKO SA ISANG RECOLLECTION!)

[ ] Idinodrowing mo sa notebook mo kung ano ang itsura ng titser mo kapag galit.

[x] Dinadaldal mo ang mga tahimik sa room para tuluyan nang umingay ang klase. (DINALDAL KO ATA LAHAT NG NAGING KATABI KO)

[x] Dinodrawing mo itsura ng titser mo kapag cartoons itsura nya.

And So It Begins...


Best news? Toffee nut is back!