Monday, June 30, 2008

Web Tambay

Saw/read the following on the web:

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

I can - and it's making me feel depressed. Too much internet?


Word of the Day:

Dragging balls

- taking too much time to complete a task, procrastinating, never ending, slow

(office setting/coworkers)
Pedro: Damn! It's only 10am?
Juan: Yep. Today is dragging balls.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

4P Reunion: We're On It Again!

My high school classmates (a few select people, actually) had our yearly high school reunion yesterday at Ketz's house. But don't be deceived. We went not out of genuine affection or desire to see one another. Oh no. We chose to be there so that one don't become the topic of conversation and butt of jokes. You wouldn't want to be in that position!

The videoke was forgotten. The DVDs were forgotten. We just ate and talked and talked and talked for an obscene number of hours. We discussed almost everything, from catching up with our present status (or non-status as the case may be!), to reminiscing about classmates and schoolmates and teachers most of us barely recall, to discussing AIDS, congresswomen with questionable fashion sense and basal temperature method. But mostly the discussions were about People-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and fortunately for them, our conversations couldn't go on forever or they would have lost their tongues for the number of times they have bitten it yesterday!

So until the next reunion! For those who weren't there, you missed a lot!

Pacquiao Wins!

Congratulations to Manny Pacquiao for an overwhelming win over the totally battered David Diaz! Good thing he won, or GMA's visit to the US would have been for naught. What, you said the timing of her US visit didn't have anything to do with the match? Yeah, right.

And how cool was it that the Boston Celtics congratulated Pacman in his dugout?

And yeah, big thank fuck you to PLDT DSL for such sloppy connections whenever there's a Pacquiao fight.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Shove That Umbrella Ella Eh Eh Down Your ...

The song “Beautiful Girls”, in any version, shape or form, is making me go suicidal. An acoustic version is NOT an improvement. Next thing you know, they’ll be singing an acoustic low, low, low, low, low.

In related news, I really couldn’t stand most of the dregs, sorry, songs (or what they would pass off as songs) these days. It’s funny, because it so often surprises people that there are songs I never listen to, or that I actually don’t know ALL songs. Remember, I am the same person who mangles, swaps and screws lyrics.

In other news, yeah, people, I don’t have good tastes, if taste = joining the bandwagon, so don’t react strongly when I say that Coldplay is ripping off U2.

Anyway. If I can be allowed to recommend a nice current song, try The Ting Ting’s That’s Not My Name.

This post is brought to you by Jela, who finally understood and embraced the merits of Jpop songs.

Adik Blues

A friend thinks that the cure for my mad addictions is to have a new addiction. You know what? I certainly agree with him. I tend to forget my object of obsession when I have a new, well, object of obsession!

But if an existing addiction is already driving me crazy, how on earth will the new addiction not have the same effect on me?? Why can’t I be like any normal human being who simply LIKES stuffs? I want to be someone who’s without the MUST-NEED to satisfy her every curiosity; to collect each and every piece that completes her addictions (and more); to discuss every tiny detail of her addiction to anyone who would listen (even to anyone who clearly didn’t want to listen). I want to be able to say I like something and LEAVE IT AT THAT.

Not to mention - addictions burn a hole in my pocket.

On an unrelated, so-not-becoming-an-object-of-a-simmering-addiction note, is there a store here that sells Johnny The Homicidal Maniac comics? I’ve read about this comics more than 2 years ago and have been looking for it since.

"Dear Die-ary, there's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt. I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now... but I can't help but look forward to where it's going."

Monday, June 23, 2008

Bedroom Blues

Aside from my blog project, I also have another more personal project - renovate my bedroom.

My room is really small and cramped, but I like it. I also think that it needs a makeover. What I would really like to do with my room are 1) to repaint it with a flashier color (current color is dirty white and boring); 2) display all my posters (which, because of my room size, might actually defeat the purpose of a flashier paint color, but whatever); and 3) re-arrange the furniture.

The problem with re-arranging the furniture are a) my parents are opposed to MY ideas because the arrangement I want are bad feng shui daw; and b) I only have few items to re-arrange: my bed, my old bookshelf, my TV rack cum bookshelf, my small side table cum bookshelf and a big secondhand closet that my brother gave me. I’m not counting the fixture which contains my ehem, “beauty” essentials since it’s a, well, fixture on the wall. I’m also not counting the hanger holder or whatever you call it since my new (but secondhand) closet will (probably) fit now all my clothes. I’m also not counting the shoe rack just because.


I don’t have a vanity dresser and I don’t have chairs and tables, and I don’t plan on adding any of these. I’m thinking of putting a lampshade but I can’t put it on my side table. Well, technically, I could but I can’t put the side table next to my bed and so the purpose of the lampshade is defeated. I want to buy a new DVD player (preferably a Div-X compatible player) since the DVD player in our living room does not play pirated DVDs and so my DVD player is currently serving two rooms, but that doesn’t really have anything to do with bedroom renovation.

These are my original plans for my rooms – most of which have already been dealt serious blows. I don’t know what else I can do for my room and I'm running out of ideas! Maybe I'll just sit in my bed tonight and wait for a brainwave, renovation-wise, to take hold of me.

Just to frustrate myself more, these are the bedrooms I wish I have (courtesy of Damn.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Have A Break, Minus The KitKat

I'm taking my break from my new personal "project". I didn't realize it would be this tedious and daunting! Well, I think taking screencaps is daunting - this is the first time I'm doing this.

Yes, the "project" is a new blog. But I'm not yet prepared to talk in detail about it or to link to that site because it's faaar from ready. I've been toying with this idea for so long and it's only now that I got the desperate desire to see it through. I'm crossing my fingers that I can have the site up the soonest! But damn, the things I wanted to do to this site is tiring.

This will still be my main blog but I hope you'll like my other blog!

Back to making screencaps haay...

Thursday, June 12, 2008


J.K. Rowling’s short story is now available at Waterstones. All I can say is –

S I R I U S ! ! !

I miss you! I miss your motorcycle! I miss waiting for the books!

Please check out also the other short stories by the other great authors like Neil Galman, Nick Hornby and Irvine Welsh.

(If you can’t read Jo’s handwriting, you can check out the text at Mugglenet.)

Mix Tape 002: Tunog Kalye

(Rules are here.)

Bilang paggunita sa araw ng ating kalayaan, aking ginawa ang mix tape na ito na aking tatawaging "Paliparin Ang Kamalayan: Tunog Kalye Circa '90". Ang mga kanta dito ay nagmula sa mga bandang sumikat noong Dekada '90.

(Oo, alam ko na hindi naman kelangang Tagalog ang salita kapag Araw ng Kalayaan at mas tugmang gawin iyon sa Linggo ng Wika. Alam ko din na hindi magandang pakinggan ang Tagalog ko. Eh ano naman?!)

Paliparin Ang Kamalayan: Tunog Kalye Circa '90

1. Pagtawid - After Image
2. Ulan - Rivermaya
3. Lakas Tama - Siakol
4. Bilanggo - Rizal Underground
5. Long Hair - The Weedds
6. Halik Ni Hudas - Wolfgang
7. Payaso - Razorback
8. Esem - Yano
9. Torpe - Hungry Young Poets
10. Silvertoes - Parokya Ni Edgar
11. Kailanman - Introvoys
12. Paglisan - Color It Red
13. Tao Po - The Youth
14. Iisang Bangka - The Dawn
15. Alapaap - Eraserheads

(listen to the playlist here.)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I'm Back!

After spending two days under the Boracay sun, my officemates told me “Galing ka ba talaga ng Boracay? Bat hindi ka nangitim?!”

Great. Perfect. The tan lines I saw were just a product of my imagination.

I have no tan, nothing!, to show off, and yet I HAVE to endure days of pagbabalat and heat-sensitive skin.

Guess I have to use tanning lotions next time.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Vacation, Baby!

Goodbye Manila. I’ll be gone for a few days so please don’t miss me. I’m flying off to the island of pure white sand, pristine waters, beautiful sunsets and succulent isaw – Boracay!

Make Me Forget!

My high school classmates put up a Multiply group for us. I excitedly browsed through the pictures that they uploaded. And then I saw this:

I didn’t even recognize myself here initially! And, was I wearing a goddamn dress?! Oh shoot, I was wearing a goddamn dress! I couldn’t even remember when this picture was shot, nor the reason why I am not in my uniform!

I wonder what other high school memories I conveniently forgotten hahaha!

Make Me Remember...

When I was watching Hana Yori Dango, I was half wishing that the series won’t include an amnesia plot. Alas, my wish wasn’t granted. Thankfully, the plot was only one episode long and in this case, Domyouji Tsukasa only had partial memory loss – the only thing he couldn’t remember, conveniently enough, was the person he loved the most in the world, Makino Tsukushi! I really can’t help but roll my eyes at the way writers use memory loss to complicate the plot. Still, this was an improvement over Meteor Garden which ran that annoying and overlong plot for almost one season!

But the plot made me remember a question that’s been nagging me with regards to Dao Ming Si’s amnesia. I couldn’t put into meaningful words my thoughts on the matter. And then, Makino said it for me (or at least, the translation of Makino’s words said it for me):

“I was betting even with his memory loss… that he would choose me again. I had some weird ideas… but I was wrong… I was too conceited, huh?”

Can we really forget the one we love? And if we forget them, and meet them again, is it logical to expect that we still fall in love with the same person? I haven’t seen MG 2 in its entirety (as I’ve said, I didn’t like the plot device used) but if I remember correctly, even if Dao remembered bits about San Cai, he still chose Yesha. In HYD, Domyouji initially hated Tsukushi on sight (which is still in keeping with his character because they started out hating each other) but he still was instinctively drawn to and puzzled by her.

But those were only fiction. Despite the memory loss, the leads expectedly still end up together, happily ever after. How will it be in real life? Can we completely lose our memories of the person we love? Conversely, can we instinctively recognize again that person in spite losing our memories?

Forget amnesia. For those who believe in reincarnation and being in love with the same person in our various lifetimes, if we come face to face with that person, will our guts know that person is The One?

I don’t know if I make sense or if raised valid questions. I may be overanalyzing again!

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Once And Future Adik

Damn. I couldn’t help myself any longer. I’m now a jdorama addict.

This is all Toma Ikuta’s fault! I thought I could limit my jdorama intake in this lifetime to Hana Kimi, the one that started it all. But when the novelty of repeatedly watching Hana Kimi wore off, I begged my friend John to give me a copy of Honey and Clover when he finish downloading it, only because Toma was on it.

But I couldn’t continue watching Honey and Clover! The story was beautiful, the cinematography was breathtaking and Toma was so so fine, but damn it! The story was beautifully, painfully sad. I want to finish it, I really do, but I still can’t convince myself that I can watch it without breaking into river of tears.

My solution? Watch another “lighter” Toma jdorama (See? I was only limiting myself to jdoramas of Toma, nothing alarming about it.). Enter Hana Yori Dango. Toma’s role here was short but very noteworthy. I think he is a good actor; he was great as the slightly cocky, funny, “oh-no-I-might-be-gay-but-I-don’t-care-anymore” Nakatsu Shuichi in Hana Kimi; he was convincing as the gentle, funny, “my-love-may-be-unrequited-but-I’m-still-here-for-her” Takemoto Yuta in Honey and Clover; and he was such a bad ass as the two-faced, vengeful “I-know-I’m-hot-see-how-I-strut” Oribe Junpei in Hana Yori Dango. I can’t wait for Toma’s new jdorama to air! I’m just as excited over the airing of the Hana Kimi special!

Okay, I’m blabbing. That’s because I got a confession to make. This is awful. Here goes: because of Hana Kimi, because of Toma, because of Hana Yori Dango, I have another crush. Ding, ding, ding.

His name is Jun Matsumoto, the actor who played Domyouji Tsukasa in Hana Yori Dango.

Heaven knows I don’t need another crush. I know I don’t need another crush! I know I don’t need a new addiction! But with the help of Wikipedia and a few bucks in my pocket, I went to MCS and bought three DVDs of jdoramas which starred Matsujun, along with three other jdorama DVDs. Just like that, a new obsession was born.

Oh, and I also asked my newfound dibidi suki to reserve me a copy of concerts of Arashi, Matsujun’s boyband. But you don’t need to know that. You also don’t need to know how I’ve been spending precious internet moments watching Matsujun-related videos in Youtube and lurking in Matsujun-centric forums. And you definitely don’t need to know how I downloaded Arashi songs, sung in Japanese of course, on my iPod.

Help, I need help.

Post Script

My last post was something that hits too close to home, but I’m not taking it down. I won’t be posting the whole story here, but I hope it could drive my point that suicide doesn’t hurt the person who committed it, it hurts any people who would have to live with that. So please, don’t do it. Suicide isn’t cool, it isn’t a good way to draw attention. No one will ever truly understand what each of us are going through; our pains are unique to us. But there are people who will listen and who will care. They won’t solve your problems for you, but they will stay with you so you won’t have to face your troubles alone. And that, at least, should be reason enough to go on living.

And this… is the last time I’m being dramatic about it!

(I’m glad that my family is a bunch of unsentimental weirdoes. Even at times like this, they were able to look at the hilarious aspects of the experience and just have a laugh trip!)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I shouldn’t be angry at you. What I should be doing now is to be there for you, to check on your condition, to sooth your wounds, to rally you up with words of encouragement. After all, you just tried to kill yourself.

But I am ANGRY at you. I am angry at you for hurting yourself. I am angry at you for making your family go through this hell. You thought life was hell for you? You don’t know hell. You would NEVER understand what they are going through, what they will go through, because your selfish heart could never comprehend that kind of hell.

But most of all I am angry at you for your fucking depression and for pinning the fucking blame on your mother.

You thought your life was fucked up? You’re seventeen, your movements restricted because you lived with your mother who nags you whenever you go home late, who nags you for wearing skimpy clothing, who nags you for maintaining various sims for your various boyfriends, who hits you when you answered back to her nagging. Yeah, that’s just so fucked up. After all, how rosy life would be for your family if you got your death wish? One less mouth to feed, one less mouth who bites the hand that feeds. And then there are hospital bills and funeral costs to settle and that terrible guilt they have to live with – the legacy you left when you said your mother was the one who pushed you over the edge. What’s all that compared to your so-called fucked up life?

But you didn’t get your death wish, did you? Yet except for the funeral costs, your family will still get all that. The hospitals bills need to be settled, the guilt needs to be dealt with. They’re not worrying about that now, though. They were just so happy that you’re alive. And you should be happy, too, now that you got all our attention.

Maybe it’s better that I am this angry. I would rather feel this than to feel sorry for you.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Who's The Man?

I was checking one of my (many) notepads and I discovered these two sheets tucked under the pages!
These were given to me by Jen and Mark in one of our coffee sessions last year. I meant to write about it (I think Jen already did!) but it slipped my mind. We tried to guess the qualities of a prospective partner that we thought would be a good match to us. (Jen/Mark, if the explanation was wrong, feel free to correct!) In case you can’t read what they wrote, here are the qualities:

Answered by Jen:
1. Music-lover (into music talaga)
2. Sensible
3. Responsible
4. Conversationalist
5. Patient

Answered by Mark:
1. Smart – insightful
2. Medyo “bad boy” image – rugged (?)
3. Romantic type
4. Charming/carinoso
5. Music-lover

The common answer was: the guy should be a music-lover. Take note that they didn’t write “someone who likes to listen to music”. It has to be music lover, as both Jen and Mark would stress! At first I was amused with their observation since I never considered myself as some sort of “know-all” when it comes to music, so I thought the quality was a bit too much. I just love listening to songs and I often find ways to express myself through music. I thought I would be okay if I can find someone who can understand that.

Then one day I found myself asking a male friend about a certain song and he replied that he doesn’t know it. I answered back exasperatedly, “how can you NOT know it?!” and enumerated the reasons why he SHOULD know it – i.e. it was a song from the second best-selling album of the artist, anyone who calls himself a fan of the artist must definitely know the song, etc.

Okay. So maybe that was a bit extreme and geeky. But my friends got it right – I would really like a guy who’s not just a casual listener. I would like someone who can appreciate a song, lyrically and melodically, its history, backstory and meaning. He needed not have a clear-cut choice of music genre, but I would like a guy who’s not dismissive of other genre and who can inspire me to try out other forms of music.

Another quality/ies which I think goes together was what Jen termed as sensible and Mark called smart – insightful. I guess I’m drawn to people who can teach me new things and who can make me think and re-think. I’ve said before that one quality I don’t like about someone is indifference. I mean, it’s one thing to describe someone as smart when he spouts words as if he had swallowed an encyclopedia, and another thing to describe someone as smart and refer to his well-formed opinions.

For example, let’s talk about one of my fave things – basketball. One guy can recite all the pertinent statistics related to a team, who was MVP when, who wears which jersey, who plays for which team. The other guy can tell you why he thinks the Spurs sucks, or why Steve Nash is the greatest point guard ever, or why the Finals this year is the most exciting ever. The point is, I would like a guy who has opinions, someone who takes time to understand things and would not just shrug you off with “I don’t know”. I think someone like this is also someone who would not take me at face value, someone who would take time to know me and understand me. I guess this explanation sort of touches the conversationalist and patient attributes.

Medyo “bad” boy image – rugged. This one is sort of funny. It’s very specific, but at the same time feels so vague. I’m still not sure if I understood what Mark means by that! Well, maybe if we based it on my “fictional character” crushes, I tend to be attracted to morally ambiguous guys. I don’t want to describe them as outright “bad”, but they’re not nice in the strictest sense of the word. Should I be falling in love with this type of guy? You tell me!

Mark thinks my guy needs to be the romantic type. He should also be charming and carinoso. Why not? I’m not the most romantic person in the world, so a romantic and charming guy is just what my doctor-friends would order to thaw this cynic’s heart.

So I think I mostly agree with what Jen and Mark wrote. I would really like a guy who’s all of these – and more. Does he exist? Your guess is as good as mine hahaha!

How about you - do you agree with these qualities?

Love Letter For No One

Dear you,

One day I'm going to meet you.

I think you're someone who's a bit like me - someone who loves Harry Potter to pieces, someone who dances like silly, someone who sings to himself when he thinks no one is looking. And yet you're just as different from me as the next person - you're a lot cheerful than I am, you walk with confidence, you pronounce words a bit differently. I don't even know if you like basketball. Or junk foods. I don't know how many siblings you have, or how many relationships you've gone through.

One day I'm going to meet you.

I think you're very attractive. I don't mean just physical attractiveness - you're attractive in a way that makes me want to know you more. You're interesting and funny and I'll never be bored when I'm with you.

One day I'm going to meet you.

Maybe you'll be wearing that thin black tie over white long-sleeved polos and jeans. You might be in a knit cap. You might be holding a book. Maybe you'll be in those glasses you rarely wear.

I know one day I'm going to meet you.

Thinking about that day fills me with thrill and anticipation. Maybe I should be more scared than elated, but why should I be terrified of someone, the mere thought of whom makes my heart smile?

Someday I'm going to meet you. Not when I'm ready for you; I don't think I'll ever be ready to be with someone like you. Not when I most need you; I want to be with you not because I need you, but because you are you.

One day I'm going to meet you. And when I do, I'm going to make sure you'll fall in love with me, too. :)

Love, Me

Sunday, June 1, 2008

I Won't Hesitate, No More, No More

For some unfathomable reason, I'm feeling very mushy for the past few days. Shocking di ba? Proof are the top most played songs in my iPod:

1. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
2. This Never Happened Before - Paul McCartney
3. Always Be My Baby - David Cook
4. Billy Jean - David Cook (not counted!)
5. True - Ryan Cabrera (this is soooo embarassing!)

So it just pains me to hear that I'm Yours is being used as a theme song to a new telenovela (I forgot which telenovela and from which channel)!

Anyway, I don't know what's gotten into me. Not even the news that Morgan has a baby already (ouch!) could dampen my "hopeless romantic" state. You see, one can be single and be in that in love state and damn anybody who would find fault in that! As the song goes, it's my God-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved...

... there's no need to complicate, our time is short,
this is our fate, I'm yours...