Ways To Increase Your Blog Traffic [or ways to pollute more innocent minds]

A friend sent me a picture of mine with the following caption [okay, so I did not post the pic here but you can see it on my other blog]:


"The face of the treasury officer with the killer blogspot..."


Of course, she neglected to mention that, a> a picture like that posted in my blog is guaranteed to kill anyone; and b> I have a killer blog to begin with.


For me, a killer blog has to have quality and quantity, that is: quality - the author have something relevant, intelligent and read-worthy to say in his blogs; and quantity - the blog is being read and appreciated by a lot of people. Guess which of these attributes apply to me?


Now, if you are aspiring to have a killer blog, then you've got to have either one, right? Unfortunately, what passes as relevant, intelligent and read-worthy post to you may come out as unabashedly craptastic to everyone else. Which leaves you with the only option of increasing your blog readership [because trust me, you can have a big readership even if you have nothing to say].


How should you do that? Here are some ideas:

1. Post sexy/nude pictures and/or videos. Not your own, silly! [well, unless you're hot.] You should post photos of beautiful stars, models and whoever is the current object of the viewing public's lust. You could also post links to videos of the latest sex scandals [or better yet, embed the video itself on your site. ah, the wonders of youtube.] with titillating titles such as "Too Hot to Handle!!!", "Barely Legal!", "Kalentong Scandal", etc. [the hell?! how did I ever come up with these titles?!]
2. Pepper your blog entries with the most popular/top keyword search. For reference, go to yahoo or google.
3. In lieu of number 2, use keywords that are unique and had not been used frequently by other sites/blogs [example: napagtagni-tagning kaganapan]. Be creative. This will ensure that your blog will come up first [or probably the only one] on the hits provided by search engines. Of course, that assumes that the people who search for these kinds of words [assuming further that there is someone who will do so] are the kind of people you want to have as readers of your blog.
4. Register in/join various mailing lists/forums/message boards. Flood the list/boards with messages like: "please check out my uber cool blog at http://www.in_desperate_need_of_blog_readers.blog-orama.com/ !!!". You may use different permutations of the titillating titles suggested in number 1 as your message subject. Do this until the moderators ban you.
5. Register in/ join again the mailing lists using a different username/ email account. Continue flooding until you get banned again. Repeat step until you realize you freakin' need a life.
6. For best results, use one suggestion in combination with any or all other suggestions.

I'm not saying that these are foolproof ideas because I haven't tried these for myself. I'm quite satisfied with my blogs' relatively obscure existence, thank you very much.

But if you did try my suggestions, please feel free to post a link of my blog in your site with some simple words about me, like: "jela is the coolest girl in the world! please check her out on her fabulous blog!!! the best!". Yep, I'm pretty fine with that.