The Loss Of My Sanity

I contemplated for about 5 seconds whether this is the way I want to introduce Arashi in my blog but the decision is quite too easy. This youtube video is just too dorky and hilarious and beautiful to pass up!

One day I'm going to write a really nice and beautiful post about Arashi, but for now this video will suffice:

Blogspot: 4 - Jela: 0

Or, The I'm-Not-Yet-Dead Post.

I'm still alive, but real life pretty much happened in the last couple of weeks and got in the way of my blog life. I got frustrated a lot of times because a lot of things kept happening but none of it really does matter in a big way, and... I don't know. I don't want to rant, plus you wouldn't understand me anyway, I'm just tired of putting up with other people's misery - or what they imagined as their misery - and, just suck it all up like an adult, dude.

I pretty much resent the fact that I don't have time for some of my friends. You know who you are, and I'm really sorry.

Anyway, so my post title refers to my bouts with self over whether I want to delete my blog or not. Obviously, blogger is winning so far, but no matter how lopsided the score is, I only need to get one point and this blog loses. I keep wondering why I'm still blogging anyway. It's not even a tool to keep up with friends because only a handful knows about its existence. I'm not blogging for money or for any ranking. Or for literary recognition, heaven forbid.

I already hate my layout and I can't find a decent one. My blog reads like a whole random, senseless rambling with no cohesive structure. It's like I just talk and talk about nothing.

But maybe that's it. That's the reason why I blog, because that's who I am - I just like to talk and talk and talk. And sometimes, no one's there to listen. This has been my sounding board, and as pathetic as it may sound, I really don't care whether anyone would care to read it or not.

One day I would just walk away from this blog. But for now, I think I'm staying.

(I already removed the stupid countdown for the Harry Potter movie because every time I see it, I just want to punch something. Anyway, there's a new countdown here, this time for the book Tales of Beedle the Bard. Joy already promised that she would buy me one, but does anyone know if the book will be sold locally?)

Edit: fuck. what's wrong with blogger's formatting?!

Maou... What the hell, just watch it!!!

Maou has completed the destruction of my soul. I'm still crying here, not teary-eyed mind you, but full blown bawling. I don't know if I can watch the last episode again, if last week was painful for me, this time the feeling is... whatever is greater than painful.

I won't discuss the last episode yet, so no spoilers here. I'm just glad I didn't watched Mawang or the whole experience would have been different for me.  I was worried when I saw that the episode was only 45 minutes long; I thought it might take more than that to wrap the whole series up. But I'm not complaining because it was a tight 45-minute episode and why should I complain when I've been crying the whole time?!!

I'm so going to miss the weekly camping out waiting for the raws and subs, the clawing at the screens for akusub to please please hurry up with the subs, the dread right before I watch a subbed episode not knowing what to expect, the elation I felt when I got more than what I expected, and then back to the unbearable anticipating for the next episode!

Congrats to Toma and Ohno! I never thought a jdrama would make me watch for the plot AND the eye candy, but Maou certainly did!

And now excuse me while I try to pick up the pieces of my heart.

Bookaholics Anonymous

Hi I’m Jela and I’m a bookaholic.



After barely surviving Powerbooks’ month-long book sale last August – barely because I still bought 2 books during the sale period (technically, I only got 1 book on sale since John Grisham’s The Appeal wasn’t part of the sale. Pfft.) – here comes National Bookstore’s own month-long book sale! Arrgh!

My trips to bookstores almost always end up in two scenarios: either 1) I will go out of the store some bucks poorer clutching books I had never planned on buying in the first place; or 2) I will go out of the store empty-handed but feeling like I lost a friend.

Lately scenario 2 keeps on happening and that’s only because I’ve done a lot of scenario 1 before! I have to exercise all kinds of restraint not to buy more books to add to my growing collection of books in various state of UNREAD – i.e. unfinished books whether I only manage to skim a few words or already halfway through before putting it down indefinitely; books still covered in plastic wrapping. As of last count, my unread books number to almost 30 and don’t that make you panic a bit?

There has to be a support group or something for people like me who likes to binge on books (I binge on other things as well but that’s another story). I totally could not rely on my friends because instead of helping me discipline myself, THEY JUST PRESSURE ME TO BUY MORE, JEN.

And because I’m a masochist who enjoys tormenting herself more, I went to National Bookstore earlier and managed to add more titles to my Books-I-so-want-like-NOW list before I hastily exited from the store:

From National Bookstore:

1. The Satanic Verses [Salman Rushdie]
2. Midnight Children [Salman Rushdie]
3. Rant [Chuck Palahniuk]
4. Snuff [Chuck Palahniuk]
5. Lisey’s Story [Stephen King]
6. Duma Key [Stephen King]
7. Airman [Eoin Colfer]
8. Final Warning (Maximum Ride series book 4) [James Patterson]
9. Thirteenth Tale [Diane Setterfield]
10. Atlas Shrugged [Ayn Rand]
11. The Race [Richard North Patterson]

Other Books On My List

1. Tales of Beedle The Bard [J.K. Rowling] (but Joy’s getting this for me! Woo hoo!)
2. Kafka On The Shore [Harumi Murakami]
3. Brisingr [Christopher Paolini]
4. Never Let Me Go [Kazuo Ishiguro]
5. The Inheritance of Loss [Kiran Desai]
6. On Chesil Beach [Ian McEwan]
7. Labyrinth [Kate Mosse]
8. Lullaby [Chuck Palahniuk]
9. Invisible Monsters [Chuck Palahniuk]
10. Dangerous Books For Boys [Hal Iggulden]
11. Stranded [Greil Marcus]
12. Housekeeping vs. The Dirt [Nick Hornby]

(Let’s not even count here the mangas I’m planning to collect…)

I just lost, like, 3 of my BFFs…

All Things Must Come To An End

Ouch. The pain of seeing hot guys cry:

My heart! My heart - it's been torn to pieces by the penultimate episode of Maou. How can something so painful be so beautiful?

Honestly, I'm scared to watch the last episode. BUT I DON'T WANT THIS SHOW TO END!

Maybe I'll refrain now from watching ongoing series. The past 10 weeks Maou just consumed me! Next time if I want to be a masochist I'll do it by watching a series in one sitting. Or, I'll just stop watching heavy jdramas and just stick to the cracstastic ones. Maybe I'll just stop watching jdramas altogether.

B-b-but... the lineup of next season's jdramas looks awesome! Why did I ever get into this addiction in the first place?!

Anyways - Maou. I regret peeking at the previews for the finale! I can't stop thinking about that scene! If I cried buckets over episode 10, for sure I'd be crying rivers come episode 11. But no, I'm not peeking at Mawang to see how it ended, oh no.

But I just might watch the raws unsubbed the minute I got hold of it.

* * *

My blog just achieved a new milestone - this is my 400th post! Yay!

I know I've talked so much about Maou in this blog, in my other blog, in my plurk. I hope you'll forgive me for rambling about my latest addiction that none of you can relate to! Kilala niyo naman ako, when something strikes my fancy, talagang all-out flailing, all-out obsession. I won't promise that I would stop talking about Maou the minute I watch the very last episode because, you know - withdrawal syndrome!

Maou Is The Evil's Name For Awesome

I'M DYING. I'm just dying. I'm dying over the awesome that is Maou and I'm loving every minute of it!

The following events happened in the first 14 minutes of episode 9:
- Souda got beaten up while Kasai stood in the sidelines
- Kasai told the goons to give him the pleasure of killing Souda and deciding to spare his life at the last minute
- Kasai ended his affair with Toma's sis-in-law
- Toma's BROTHER killed Souda! He even left evidence to frame Kasai.
- Ohno went to the crime scene and called Toma USING SOUDA'S PHONE without speaking to let him realize that Souda is in danger
- Finally! - the confrontation scene! Toma punches Ohno! Toma screams at Ohno to tell the truth! Ohno admits the truth while smirking that evil smirk! Toma and that tear drop! MAJOR EPIC WIN!

I swear - not even 24 can pack that much kick ass in one episode.

I was flailing all over the place over how fucking amazing this episode is, how totally brilliant and ruthless Ohno's scheme this time, how much I can feel Toma's anger and guilt and hopelessness and Shiori's pain! And Ohno's pain for causing Shiori's pain! This show is absolutely killing me!

You know, it's amazing how much I crave for new episodes, and how desperate and edgy I become even after getting that new episode! Then I realize that there are only two more episodes left and I just... I just can't begin to describe how torn I am between wanting to see the conclusion AND not wanting this show to end.

It's not even JUST the series that I'm raving about [the series ITSELF is so rave-worthy]. I like over-analyzing and this series is making me do that so much! The whole "line between good and evil" stuffs keeps messing with my head and this series got so much gray in it. Like, for this episode - the only decent guy in the series, when the means presented itself, was the only guy to have killed in cold blood. I can give more examples but this was just so glaring and unexpected and I LOVE IT.

I'm totally incoherent, am I not? I love this show so much.