After drowning myself in depression because of that piece of information, I thought of the following lines from a song that's quite right for me:
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me, too
You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky girl
You'll never never know
The one who loves you so
But you don't know me...
Pero naisip ko din naman, kahit naman siguro gumawa ako ng moves to get to know him better, wala din namang mangyayari, he'll still marry his girl. Kahit assume pa natin na the impossible happen and he finds himself falling for me in such a short time, hindi din ako siguro comfortable na maging cause ng break up nilang dalawa.
But I can't pretend that I am not massively disappointed. Siguro kasi ngayon lang nangyari kasi sa akin na magka-crush sa isang guy who turns out na married na pala. It's not naman that I was expecting that we could progress beyond being sort-of-friends into something special (expecting is not synonymous with daydreaming, okay?), pero siguro the thought na you're into someone and there's a tiny, teensy weensy chance that you can be together, pero biglang naglaho yung ilusyon because he's married to someone, ouch.
Hay naku nag-overanalyze na naman ako!
Bakit ba yung mga guys na gusto ko hindi na pwede? O kung single naman, ayaw naman sa akin? O single at gusto din naman ako, pero ayoko naman sa kanya? Hindi naman ako nagmamadali, pero nakakainis lang kasi. Minsan lang ako magka-crush ng ganito ka-serious, olats pa.
O sige na tama na ang drama. Hanap uli ng bagong prospect!