Pero Ang Tanging Nais Ko Ay Di Nabibili Ng Pera

DAMN IT. Hindi ako makakapanood ng Eheads reunion concert! Waah!

Bukod sa kadahilanang may pupuntahan akong kasal sa San Agustin ng 3:30 ngayon, wala din gustong sumama sa aking manood! Bakit ba, bakit ba hindi masakyan ng mga so-called friends ko ang mga trip ko?!! Kaibigan ko nga ba talaga kayo?! (joke lang!)

Binigyan ko ang sarili ko ng hanggang alas dose ngayong araw para i-convince ang sarili ko na manood mag isa. Syet, hindi ko yata kaya.

So please, kung sakaling hindi ako matuloy ngayon [at malamang ay hindi talaga] ayoko makarinig/makabasa ng anything tungkol sa concert.

SAD. SAD. SAD JELA.

Japan Is Still Driving Me Insane!

After spending three days complaining about the delayed soft subs for episode 8 of Maou, I have let the raw episode and the soft subs sit unwatched in the hard disk for two days now. Argh!

I just can't bring myself to watch this episode!
It has that big REVEAL!
My head's about to explode when I realized there are only 3 episodes left!

So now I'm holding back from watching this episode after days and days of impatiently waiting for it. What's wrong with me?!

How are you so good, Maou?

I don't know how anyone can say they've lived a meaningful if they haven't seen this series. Okay, that's an exaggeration but seriously? MUST. WATCH. Damn it, just watch this show!

I'm willing to burn the episodes in a CD if you're interested. But you have to wait for the series to end. I wouldn't want to put you through the agony of waiting every week for new episodes. On the contrary, I can't imagine how marathon-watching the series won't give anyone a heart attack. But that kind of heart attack? All goooood.

P.S.

Other ways in which Japan drove me insane:

I spent the first long weekend watching Japanese game shows or talk shows that Arashi guested in and each one is so freakin' hilarous! I was laughing so hard and so loud that my mom had to ask me what the hell I was watching. And I couldn't really tell her because how can one explain why she's watching a Japanese show without subtitle when she don't even speak that language and yet still find the whole thing funny?!

And then the next second, I was crying my eyes out while watching episode 7 of Maou.

But it's not my sanity I'm worried about. Last week my mom asked me IF SHE CAN WATCH what I was watching because she's curious about what's making me laugh like crazy.

My mom's about to find out that her only daughter is going bonkers.

Tuloy Na Nga Ba Talaga Ang LIGAYA?

Sana oo.

After reading this morning that Eheads' concert on August 30 was cancelled, I read two more blogs just now reposting Raimund's post in Sandwich's mailing list and Marcus' post in his blog that the reunion is pushing through! Ano ba talaga?! Wala pa din akong ticket!

The news was also posted here. I like the part about the tickets now being offered for sale. I think I'll have a better chance of scoring one! *crosses her fingers*

Damn, may pasok na naman bukas...

Domyouji Tsukasa: The Once And Future Dork

I've been delaying this entry for quite a long time. This is supposed to be the first entry in my brand spankin' new blog that's still not taking off because I just want it to be this perfectly organized blog (unlike this blog that is full of random). So now I decided the hell with it. I'm posting this imperfect rambling post now as a gift to myself because I had a fun time planning and writing this, even if no one will actually read it!

I can now with finality say that I love Hana Yori Dango better than Meteor Garden - and Domyouji Tsukasa is the biggest reason why. Sure, there are other guys who bring out the INCREDIBLY SHALLOW in me (including the oh so hot Dao Ming Si), but damnit Tsukasa sure tests the limits of my shallowness!

Domyouji isn't your typical leading man. He isn't even your typical anti-hero. But I love him, both the Meteor Garden reincarnation and ESPECIALLY the Hana Yori Dango character. Yes, he is arrogant, crazy and violent. But he's incredibly clueless, and he is this biggest dork that ever dorked wuss with a child-like heart. His combination of nastiness and naivete are made of AWESOME.

So I present to you proof of Domyouji's evilness and dorkiness, and why it has sank me deeper into the pits of fangirliness.


Read more...

It's My Day!

Thank you for the flowers and balloons. Thank you for the dinner. Thank you for the text messages and greetings.

But more importantly, thank you for the past year. Thank you for letting me test the limits of my insanity keeping me grounded and for making me laugh despite the stress and disappointments.

Thank you for giving me a lot of reasons to be thankful for. There's no better gift in this world than to have families and friends like you.


Edit: Oo nga pala - BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT - Champion ang Ginebra!!!

Superproxy

Gusto ko ng Eheads reunion concert ticket! Hindi naman ako makapag-sign up sa Marlboro website kasi kailangan smoker para mag-join. May nag-advise sa kin mag-pretend na smoker ako at favorite ko ang lights eh pano pag me practical exam?! Isang puff pa lang bagsak na ko!

Is there a way - any way - to get a ticket na hindi ko kailangan mag-yosi?!?!

No Freakin' Way!

Goddamnit.

When I say that happiness is fleeting, I didn’t mean it to be, like, one-day fleeting. After the best news yesterday, this news is just one big epic FAIL:

HBP Delayed until July 17, 2009

Did you see my countdown timer above? It says used to say that I should be waiting for HBP for only 3 more months, and now they’re adding eight months to my waiting period! Eight effin’ months!

I need to crucio someone right now.

Opa! Them Greek Guys Are Hot!

I am TOTALLY not watching the very delayed telecast of USA vs. Greece basketball game just for the eye candy. Surely any self-respecting basketball fan will tune in to this game knowing that Team USA is raring to get back at the last team who defeated them in an international competition?

No, I would never sacrifice sleep time over such shallow reason as pretty boys.

B-b-but... but... one can't help but notice, right? So the Greeks are not flashy players like their USA counterparts and I'm never ever going to get one name right, but still.

(Damn, I took a peek at MSN. USA won 92-69.)

Happiness Might Be Fleeting, But Damn I'm Happy!

Best. Damn. News. Ever.

My certification exam has been moved from September 2 to third week of October.



*cue loud shrieks of joy and relief*

This news couldn’t come at a better time because I’m so high strung right now. My quiet desperation from the previous weeks was abruptly turned into a full blown panic mode this week when I realized that I’m running out of time.

Only 2 weeks left to study!
300+ pages to go!

When I met with fellow examinees last Tuesday, my nerves just about reached its limits.

They have notes!
They have effin’ index cards!
I only managed to sleep through the section on what constitutes material information!

So now, I can rest my neurotic self and just enjoy the long weekends! Of course, I won’t be stopping with my review (swear), but now I have more breathing room and I can study without the pressure breathing down my neck.

So wish me luck! Or more aptly, wish me self-discipline and motivation!


***

In other news – oh yeah, I haven’t told yet the story behind my little accident.

I totally wish that the reason behind my injury was something fascinating or awe-inspiring, but noooo, it’s plain clumsiness. My right ring finger got caught in a van’s sliding door as I was closing it. Ouch.

But dude, dit it hurt! My jeepney ride after that accident was the nastiest ever. I was puffing my cheeks and pursing my lips to keep myself from crying because it was just so painful and I can see the blood trapped behind my fingernails and it’s grossing me out. I can’t wait to get home but the ride just seemed too slow.

I had my right hand x-rayed last Monday since my finger is still swollen. The good news is that I have no broken or dislocated bones. The bad news is that there’s a wound behind my fingernail. Even if the thought of having my fingernail removed is a bit disconcerting, I want to have a surgery to remove the blood clot. My mom is opposed to the idea and assures me that my fingernail will eventually go back to its normal appearance. I’m undecided; right now I’m leaning towards the surgery but o m g missing fingernail!

Everyone thinks it’s a good thing that I’m left handed, but since I spend most of my time in front of the computer it hardly matters. It’s hard to type, especially on the numeric keypad that I use a lot. It’s also hard to do other things, like shampoo my hair or carry a tray. Being the clumsy that I am, I manage to bump my swollen finger in every surface available!

I’m probably going to spend my birthday with one fingernail missing, but I can’t complain. There are other things to be thankful for, right? Besides, injuring my right ring finger made me appreciate what I can do with two useful hands. Best not to take anything for granted!

Paper Conversation

During a boring seminar:



I wrote: Me naghihilik ba?
She wrote: Saan?
I wrote: Sa right ko
I wrote: O sinisipon lang?
She wrote: Siguro
She wrote: Arashi
I wrote: favorite ko!
She wrote: Rock or pop?
I wrote: jpop
She wrote: youtube
She wrote: tinignan ko!
She wrote: Shu?
I wrote: Sho
I wrote: Sho Sakurai
She wrote: Hana Kimi?
I wrote: Oguri SHUN

Later…

I wrote: Nadinig mo?
She wrote: Ano ba?
I wrote: Yung parang humihilik!
She wrote: Oo, naka-black
I wrote: Kadire
She wrote: Hehe

Mush For The Day

If I stop wishing for it, would you make it come true?

If you grant my wish, would that day come when I stop thinking about you?

Would I?

See You On November 20!

First of all, I hope you will all appreciate how difficult it is for me to blog now. I have a swollen right ring finger from a little accident I had yesterday and it's ugly and it hurts and it's hindering me from my web tambay. I'll probably tell the story on a later date when it's no longer a pain to drag a mouse and to type.

So - to business:

My little countdown above, in case you didn't know it yet, is for the release of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince movie. It's actually counting down the days until the release of HBP in UK on November 21 - but the movie will be shown here in Manila on November 20!

Well, that's all. Can't type properly. Can't think properly.

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Tagged by MakMak.

Click copy/paste, type in your answers and tag four people in your list. Don't forget to change my answers to the questions with that of your own.


4 PLACES I GO TO OVER AND OVER
> Powerbooks Greenbelt 4
> Starbucks, Standard Chartered Bank Building
> Bibliarch, Glorietta 2
> Ton Ton’s Massage


4 PEOPLE WHO E-MAIL ME REGULARLY
(excepting work-related emails)
> Comics.com (weekly Foxtrot comics)
> QuiapoDVD yahoo group
> Mark, Jen and Bom
> Jojie


4 OF MY FAVORITE PLACES TO EAT
> Nanbanttei
> Java Man (Powerbooks)
> Recipes
> McDonalds


4 PLACES I'D RATHER BE
> my room (I’ll just sleep, read or watch and forget about the world!)
> Japan (go to Akihabara to satisfy my otaku-ness, visit Mt. Fuji, stand under a sakura tree, and of course, stalk Toma and Matsujun!)
> London, England
> Baguio


4 TV SHOWS I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
> Friends
> House
> Ghost Fighter
> Hanazakari no Kimitachi e Ikemen Paradise (NAKATSU!)


4 PEOPLE WHOM I THINK WILL RESPOND
> hmmm…
> don’t know.
> anyone who
> wants to! :)

Three 8s = Gold!

Too bad I can't watch the opening of the Beijing Olympics today. Hay, work always get in the way!

I'll be cheering for our country of course, but I'll be supporting Germany in Men's Basketball. Go Nowitzki!

Who Gave You Permission To Listen Again To Love Songs?

Like when I hear your name,
Or see a place that you've been
Or see a picture of your grin,
Or pass a house that you've been in
At one time or another.

It sets off something in me I can't explain.
And I can't wait to see you again.

No More Little Boy And Fat Man

Today is the 63rd anniversary of the atomic bombing of Hiroshima. Like almost everything else that I planned to blog about, I told myself that I'm going to write something about the two World Wars, and yet it was only today that I was jolted into the realization that I have not done anything.

Anyway, I can't rely on my academic background to discuss this topic. My high school History subjects suck because the teachers glossed over a lot of the topics. (Plus the fact that I resent the way History was taught in our school; they put too much emphasis on memorizing names and dates instead of actually telling us what happened and why these events occurred. And anyway, History is a highly subjective lesson; unless you make tons of research, your perspective of history is shaped by the author of your reference books) I learned more about World War I and II by reading encyclopedias and watching National Geographic.

I don't want to discuss history, though. I won't waste my time on the whens, wheres, hows and whys because I'm certainly not an expert in history. But I often wonder whether the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki was a justified act. Was it the classic example of "necessary evil"?

Obviously I have not done this entry well. Cliche as this may sound, and despite my curiosity over the World Wars, I truly wish for world peace. I wish that I would never read about another genocide or another invasion. I wish that the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki would be the first and the last in our history.

I'll Never Let You Go

Since I left my iPod at the office last night, I tuned in to my mobile phone’s radio today on the way to work. It’s been a long while since I last listened to Chico and Del and dude! how I miss their Top Tens! The topic today was “Top Ten Things That Are Hard To Let Go”. It was a good topic because the answers were pretty diverse, but there are two replies that I really like.

The first answer that I absolutely can relate to is, of course, Harry Potter. I know! I just can’t let go of Harry Potter! More than a year since book 7 was released and sometimes I still can’t believe that the wait for the end was actually over. Like most fans, I’m still hoping against hope that Jo would write more about the boy wizard. I’m crossing my fingers that The Tales of Beedle The Bard will be available here, otherwise, I have some power-begging to do so that my friend abroad will buy me one!

The second answer I like had something to do with scent. The sender (I forgot whether it’s a he or a she. For simplicity let’s assume it’s a he.), said that he find it hard to let go after every dates, because the scent of his girlfriend still lingers. It’s totally aawww… and something I can relate to. There’s this scent that always remind me of someone, and each time I catch that same scent from another, it hits me hard and reminds me how much I miss this person.

Oopps… someone’s getting mushy!

And yeah, I think I need to tune in to radio more!



P.S.

I meant to post something yesterday, but I’m not sure whether I really want to share it so I saved it in my drafts. Maybe one day I’ll just change my mind about it hehehe… I just want to say that despite the current pressures in my life, I found one thing that’s making me really happy now. I don’t know if I should be, but what the heck, I just am!

I'll Procrastinate Tomorrow

For the past four days – in between working, cleaning my room, watching TV and DVDs, internet tambay, reading novels and daydreaming – I’ve been staring at this object:



What exactly is that, you might ask? Why, that’s my study materials for the certification exam for fixed income trader that I will be taking on September 2!


Did I mention that I haven’t read a single page of that... thing?





*sound of my head falling*





Damn. I’m in so much trouble.


The only thing I know about my study materials is that it’s thick and its words are probably highly soporific. I’ve only looked at the first page of the first chapter (Relevant Regulations and Implementing Rules, including selected SRC and OTC rules, BSP Circulars and relevant Revenue Regulations and Memorandums) after which I decided to ignore the materials first in favor of more, uh, entertaining pursuits.


So far I’m quite successful in procrastinating, but the panic is slowly building up in my stomach. I know, I need to study but what’s the worst that could happen if I don’t? I will flunk and pay additional bucks to retake the test. No, wait! That’s not an option! I will study na!


But the lure of movies and books and SLEEP is just so hard to resist...


I just need proper motivation, that’s all. After all, if I can read these much books:



Then I can read anything, right? Right?

Love Until It Hurts...

When you love, love until it hurts...
And when it hurts, love more...
When it hurts more, love some more...
When it hurts some more, love even more...
When it hurts even more, love until it hurts no more!

I've been trying to keep these words out of my head for the past week or so. I first heard these back in high school from one of my classmates and immediately scoffed at her idea of being a stupid martyr for love. I would only write the first lines in slam books just to be 'pang-asar'.

Eventually, I learned that one can't love only until it hurts. It can only be called love when you can set aside your pain and continue loving the one who hurt you. It's never as easy as it sounds, and there are times when I question the wisdom of what I was doing, but I feel that it's the only thing that I can and have to do. But how long must one endure the pain? How low must one sink into, in the name of love? How much does one have to sacrifice and compromise before one can say that he/she has "love until it hurts no more"?

Last week, a friend asked me to see her because she needed someone to talk to about her relationship. Obviously, they're having problems. My friend was trying to excuse her bf from the blame by saying "it's not him, it's the situation". I don't know anything about their relationship except what she chose to tell me and I haven't even met the guy, but I know enough of my friend to know that she would not normally put up with such bullshits. But like everyone else, I have to give her a pass. After all, she's in love.

When we are in love, we are allowed certain things. We have an excuse to act mushy, to be spaced out, to skip on our friends. We are allowed to do stupid things, to be rash and bold, we are allowed to endure and expect pain.

I'm not sure what my friend wanted from me. Maybe she just want someone who will listen. When I told her what I think of their situation, she turned the tables on me and said that I was full of pride and maybe if I wasn't like that, my previous relationship wouldn't have ended the way it did. I thought it was unfair - the conversation isn't about me, it's about her. For another, there's no use talking about old wounds. And lastly, she's wrong about me.

Or was she?

I sort of hate my friend for saying those things, because she made me look back and re-examine my past. And it made me remember those words. Did I only love until it hurt? Have I not love enough? Have I given up too early? Should I have done more? Did I really let my pride get in the way?

When we broke up, even now I still think that it wasn't about what was right or what was wrong. It was about what I can live with. I know it sound selfish, but at that moment I have to look after myself because no one else would. Was he hoping I would ask him to choose me? Maybe he was. And yes, I did ask him to choose me. Did I ask enough for him to choose me? I don't know. Because I stopped fighting for myself. Is that pride?

There wasn't time to second-guess my decision or to think of the could-have-beens if we chose a different path. There was life to deal with, after all.

And now I can say that those words were true - I did love until it hurts, until it hurts more, until it hurts some more. I did love even after the break up when it hurts even more. And now I can look back at my past love and smile about it, because I had loved until it no longer hurt.

Maybe that's how those words apply to me. For some, who are currently in love and hurting and wondering when it will stop hurting, it doesn't necessarily mean that love has to end for it to no longer hurt. Love and endure, be prepared to give your all, and learn to forgive and forget. That's the time when the pain will stop to matter.

Meme Killed The Radio Star (The Clues)

Sorry! I was not able to post the clues yesterday! Here they are - bonus points to those who can guess the artist and the song title. :)

1. Cause all I really want is to be with you / feeling like I matter, too / if I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago / I might be here with you
   
2. All these rhythms that you hide / only love can save us now / all these riddles that you burn / yeah, yeah, yeah
3. Swimming through sick lullabies / choking on your alibis / but it's just the price I pay / destiny is calling me / open up your eager eyes
4. I thought I was fool for no one / Oh, baby, I'm a fool for you / you're the queen of the superficial / and how long before you tell the truth
5. He's the one who likes all our pretty songs / and he likes to sing along / and he likes to shoot his gun / but he don't know what it means / don't know what it means and I say
6. 5ive
   
7. You realize that / sometimes you're just not okay / you level out, level out, level out / it's not alright now / you need to understand / there's nothing strange about this
8. The Beatles
9. Imago
10. But I'm a million different people from one day to the next / I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
11. We're just two lost souls / swimming in a fishbowl year after year / running over the same old ground / what have we found? / the same old fears
    
12. Must you make me laugh so much? / it's bad enough we get along so well
13. I've realized that the reason I think / the changing seasons are beautiful / is because you're there / I'm going to tell you now (Obviously, it's either you know them or you don't! I posted the English translation of their song, just in case. :p)
    
14. Kiss me, please kiss me / but kiss me out of desire, babe, not consolation / you know it makes me so angry cause I know in time / I'll only make you cry
15. I'm lost in admiration / could I need you this much / Oh you're wasting my time / you're just wasting time
    
16. Di magawang alisin ang aking mata / sa anghel na nakikita / iniibig na ba kita / Oh ewan ko ba
17. Paul McCartney
18. When you're on a golden sea / you don't need no memory / just a place to call your own / as we drift into the zone
    
19. Green Day
    
20. I would say I'm sorry / if I thought that it would change your mind / but I know that this time / I've said too much / Been too unkind
    
21. Drive me away / cause the night just feels right / take me away with you tonight / anywhere with you
    
22. David Cook
    
23. I'll sing it one last time for you / then we really have to go / you've been the only thing that's right / in all I've done
    
24. This is what you get / when you mess with us / and for a minute there / I lost myself / I lost myself
25. I got shit running through my brain / it's so intense that I can't explain / all alone in my white-boy pain / shake your booty while the band complains