On The Verge

(to counter the negativity of my two previous posts, I'm posting this thought I had last weekend, which... is a bit negative also hahaha... I'd like to think that I wrote this down during a drunken spell, but the thought hit me while watching a John Mayer concert [with him singing "Your Body's A Wonderland" na wala namang konek sa sinasabi ko!] so I guess I was as lucid as I could ever be and that the words here I attribute to a very confused mind...katching!) (ok, so now I feel better!)

I refuse to admit that I like him. But the truth keeps tugging at me to acknowledge its annoying existence.

So why am I hiding? Because I think he's into someone else. And it just seem mighty disappointing that my first venture at love after a long while is bound to end up in a heartbreak.

But does that mean I should choose someone who shows he's every bit interested in me even if I don't have strong enough feelings for him just to avoid the ache of an unrequited love?

LOVE - I'm not quite there yet. But I'm on the edge and just a push will send me tumbling down straight into his arms.

Rant #02: Message Received

To this person who’s been pestering me with text messages since Monday:

I understand that sarcasm is hard to detect when it is only written, or in this case, texted. But when I texted and said that I think you’re being mysterious by not revealing who you are, I did not mean that as an invitation for you to start being “mysterious” by texting me that you won’t divulge who you are if I did not answer. Your ploy might have worked, you know, the first time you did it, and I might think that you really are being mysterious. But three text messages saying the same thing (geh n nga sasabhn kna kng cnu ako…Kso d kna ngrereply eh..Byebye na…) after I didn’t text back, several “missed calls”, and more text messages to get my attention – I just need to ask: what part of my silence did you not understand?

Normally, I am a friendly person. Normally, I would play the “Guess who I am?” game if the other person on the other end does arouse my interest. And normally, I am attracted to mysterious guys. But you are neither mysterious nor fascinating and your fixation with my love life just doesn’t feel right.

And you know what? There’s just this weird coincidence that I also received text messages around the same time last year from someone purporting to be an old friend of mine who’s just as interested as you are about my love life. And another coincidence? You both called me “Jelai”. Oh no, we are not jumping into conclusions here, merely stating an observation.

Well, if it happens that you really are a legitimate admirer of mine (ehem), then I’m flattered by the attention. I am not trying to be hard-to-get, but really, your method of engaging a lady’s attention leaves so much to desired. I am willing to give you another chance and start over again, but you better start it by telling me who the hell you really are.

But if you’re neither an admirer nor a friend, I suggest you get a life. It’s not that that hard, you know. And some of us are actually doing it to be bothered by childish guessing games.

Rant #01: From A Corporate Slave

I must be more patient than I thought I was, for I had been wanting, since yesterday, to curse and scream at my boss (on second thought, I’m probably just afraid to lose the job that pays for the bills).

“ '**** ina boss!!! Make up your mind! It’s not easy to compute, make a schedule, draft a letter, have it signed by signatories and then ask me to repeat again the process about 5 times since yesterday because you can’t decide on what course of action to take!!! And this for just one fucking loan facility! and I have to do the same for another facility! Did you know that I haven’t been doing some a lot of my tasks since Monday ever since you and all the higher ups decided that “wow! merge na tayo! let’s do everything all at once!” and conveniently forget that I alone do all the bank borrowing related transactions (sana naman maki-share ka, and making bola with the creditors does not count). I still have the daily cash position monitoring, external audit, month-end reports and the damn madugong merger transition period to deal with. Every time the stupid phone rings, I am just tempted to hurl it into outer space because I’m about thisclose to shouting “shut the fuck up!” on your face!

Sorry, but I just want to cuss really, really bad. I’m afraid if I don’t do it here, I just might spontaneously combust. so,


'**** NA SYET TALAGA!!!!!!! @#@!%$$#@*&%$$$@!#!!!!!!

Heller!

The problem with working for a credit card company is that when I call a client/bank/any third party I have an official business with and the person on the other line doesn’t know me yet, they seem to think I’m a telemarketer offering them credit cards! (or worse, a collection agent reminding them of their dues) My declaration that I’m from this credit card company is almost always followed by an uncomfortable silence, and the inevitable “uhm, this is regarding what?”.

I should have probably included in my intro that I’m from the Treasury department but it seem too long-winded. Well, actually that’s not entirely true. To be honest, it afforded me some sort of amusement when my calls were greeted with some discomfort and second-guessing. Hahaha. I’m mean that way.

And guess what? Today was the first day when someone finally asked me out loud if I’m a telemarketer. “Uh, ma’am, are you calling her just to offer a credit card?” I actually laugh before telling him (him and his nice voice! I think I’ll call him again hahaha!) that my call is strictly business.

Sometimes you need a dose of madness to salvage a little bit of your sanity at work.

Friday's Feast 114

Appetizer
Name a song you know by heart.

Gosh, there’s just so many! The first song that comes to mind was Two Minds Crack’s “Upside Down”. It’s been a fave song of mine way back in high school and I still enjoy listening to it.

Maybe you don’t understand, our love lies lost but you’re still holding my hand, oh, and then you walked away, just as I, I wanted to stay… You’re turning me on, you turn me around, you turn my whole world upside down…

Soup
What will you absolutely not do in front of another person?

Pick my nose. Do a wrestler or fashion model impersonation. I do a lot of that in front of the mirror in the privacy of my bedroom. None were good impersonations, I must say. Which is why it should stay as hidden as possible.


Salad
How often do you use mouthwash and what kind do you like?

Once or twice a day. I use Astring-O-Sol freshmint.


Main Course
Finish this sentence: I am embarrassed when...

I blurt out non-sequiturs. Or when I let slip that I’m ignorant on some things. I no longer get embarrassed when I fall flat on my face. It has become something predictable like the rising and setting of the sun.


Dessert
What was the last food you craved?

Marshmallows. Colorful, fluffy marshmallows.

Top 5 On Friday - Week 92

Top 5 (or possibly 7) Songs with Days Of The Week In The Title

• Sunday Bloody Sunday – U2
• Sunday Mornings – Maroon 5
• Manic Monday – The Bangles
• Ruby Tuesday – The Rolling Stones
• Friday I’m In Love – The Cure
• Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night – Bon Jovi
• Saturday Night – Whigfield

I know I'm supposed to give 7 songs for all the days of the week, but I can't think of any for Wednesday and Thursday!

Divert Your Face!

When I wanted to have relaxing lunch break, I leave my cell phone on my desk drawer and go out of the office and just walk around. But now I can't do that as my eldest brother took matters in his own hands and decided to divert his calls to my phone. Not to worry, he said I should expect calls only until 3pm.

So now I am his secretary?!

This, plus the fact that he hasn't returned yet the Metallica DVD that I haven't even watched yet, should translate to a big, big payoff come Christmas time [or probably an exemption from giving him a birthday gift heh.]. Or else, there'll be hell to pay.

Hello? You just reached his one and only sister. His very, very loving little [literally] sister, who's a bit infuriated with him right now. Just a bit I assure you. But you better make your message short or you'll regret ever calling him for the rest of your life! So, dude, what's your message again?

Do you think my brother would mind my little spiel?