Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Who's The Man?

I was checking one of my (many) notepads and I discovered these two sheets tucked under the pages!
These were given to me by Jen and Mark in one of our coffee sessions last year. I meant to write about it (I think Jen already did!) but it slipped my mind. We tried to guess the qualities of a prospective partner that we thought would be a good match to us. (Jen/Mark, if the explanation was wrong, feel free to correct!) In case you can’t read what they wrote, here are the qualities:

Answered by Jen:
1. Music-lover (into music talaga)
2. Sensible
3. Responsible
4. Conversationalist
5. Patient

Answered by Mark:
1. Smart – insightful
2. Medyo “bad boy” image – rugged (?)
3. Romantic type
4. Charming/carinoso
5. Music-lover

The common answer was: the guy should be a music-lover. Take note that they didn’t write “someone who likes to listen to music”. It has to be music lover, as both Jen and Mark would stress! At first I was amused with their observation since I never considered myself as some sort of “know-all” when it comes to music, so I thought the quality was a bit too much. I just love listening to songs and I often find ways to express myself through music. I thought I would be okay if I can find someone who can understand that.

Then one day I found myself asking a male friend about a certain song and he replied that he doesn’t know it. I answered back exasperatedly, “how can you NOT know it?!” and enumerated the reasons why he SHOULD know it – i.e. it was a song from the second best-selling album of the artist, anyone who calls himself a fan of the artist must definitely know the song, etc.

Okay. So maybe that was a bit extreme and geeky. But my friends got it right – I would really like a guy who’s not just a casual listener. I would like someone who can appreciate a song, lyrically and melodically, its history, backstory and meaning. He needed not have a clear-cut choice of music genre, but I would like a guy who’s not dismissive of other genre and who can inspire me to try out other forms of music.

Another quality/ies which I think goes together was what Jen termed as sensible and Mark called smart – insightful. I guess I’m drawn to people who can teach me new things and who can make me think and re-think. I’ve said before that one quality I don’t like about someone is indifference. I mean, it’s one thing to describe someone as smart when he spouts words as if he had swallowed an encyclopedia, and another thing to describe someone as smart and refer to his well-formed opinions.

For example, let’s talk about one of my fave things – basketball. One guy can recite all the pertinent statistics related to a team, who was MVP when, who wears which jersey, who plays for which team. The other guy can tell you why he thinks the Spurs sucks, or why Steve Nash is the greatest point guard ever, or why the Finals this year is the most exciting ever. The point is, I would like a guy who has opinions, someone who takes time to understand things and would not just shrug you off with “I don’t know”. I think someone like this is also someone who would not take me at face value, someone who would take time to know me and understand me. I guess this explanation sort of touches the conversationalist and patient attributes.

Medyo “bad” boy image – rugged. This one is sort of funny. It’s very specific, but at the same time feels so vague. I’m still not sure if I understood what Mark means by that! Well, maybe if we based it on my “fictional character” crushes, I tend to be attracted to morally ambiguous guys. I don’t want to describe them as outright “bad”, but they’re not nice in the strictest sense of the word. Should I be falling in love with this type of guy? You tell me!

Mark thinks my guy needs to be the romantic type. He should also be charming and carinoso. Why not? I’m not the most romantic person in the world, so a romantic and charming guy is just what my doctor-friends would order to thaw this cynic’s heart.

So I think I mostly agree with what Jen and Mark wrote. I would really like a guy who’s all of these – and more. Does he exist? Your guess is as good as mine hahaha!

How about you - do you agree with these qualities?


MakMak said...

At ibinalandra talaga sa web ang maganda kong handwriting. Ahahaha :P

Yep, rugged - yung hindi polished at masyado suave. Malamang no? Haha. Basta that guy doesn't fall into the nerdy nor the boy-next-door types.

k a r e n said...

I find that our idea of a "somewhat perfect match" may change with us we grow but that there are certain qualities that are considered timeless and are non-negotiable.

Here's my list of non-negotiables:

1. Smart - not necessarily grade-wise but someone who can carry a conversation and have his own opinion and can make wise decisions.

2. Can make me laugh.

3. Is sweet/thoughtful. He doesn't have to always be over-the-top romantic but he needs to be able to make me feel special every now and then even in the simplest of ways.

4. God-fearing. Everything that's good stems from this.

5. Kind, generous and down-to-earth. It is so hard nowadays to find guys who are non-egotistical. Someone who's just comfortable with himself and keeps his foot grounded regardless of his looks/accomplishments is such a turn-on. Ayoko ng lalaking mabait lang sakin.. dapat mabait din sya sa ibang tao.

6. Patient and understanding. Makulit kasi ako sobra and when I'm tired or hungry, I can be quite difficult. Hahaha!

7. Responsible...enough to make his own mind and be accountable for his own decisions.

8. He listens.

9. He's decent. Not necessarily drop-dead georgeous.. but someone who dresses neatly and is presentable. No tattoos, no piercings and no long hair for me!

10. He's respectful. Towards me and everyone else.

ayan, I think I've listed just the top 10 non-negotiables for me.

I consider myself very blessed to be engaged to someone who embodies all of the qualities I mentioned above and so much more. If it can happen to me, why can't it happen to you?

MakMak said...

@Kar: I like your non-negotiable list. Hmmm. Gave me an idea. :) Tenks tenks.

k a r e n said...

You're welcome Mak! =)