Friday, September 29, 2006
I had been asked lots of times by well-intentioned friends who want to play match-makers [and by some who are simply, and annoyingly, curious] on what I look for in a guy, and for the life of me I couldn’t specify the qualities I like! Does that mean I’m losing faith and interest on the male species?
Nah, I don’t think so. I had never been the type of person, even during my hopeless romantic stage, to have that so called ideal guy. The ideal guy for me is just that – an idea. Sure, somehow you’re going to meet a guy who may have all the qualities that you are looking for – he’s tall and handsome and smart and manly – definitely your dreamboat. But then you would find out that he had one quality that you definitely abhor – like a stinking body odor – and your dreamboat capsizes into oblivion.
Of course, that’s simplifying matters. My point is, we sometimes get fixated on the idea of “The One” that we end up falling in love with the idea of him being the one and not with the person himself. And we get so hung up on the idea that a person should be the right one when we don’t even consider if we are the “right one” for that person. I mean, you don’t just go searching for someone who meets this and that criteria. Or worse, trying to mold the person to meet your criteria. It’s like those block shapes that kids play with. First, you select a piece that you think will fit the pattern, and try another if the first one didn’t fit until you get the right one. But you don’t push or reshape the piece you have selected just to fit the mold.
[Isn’t that the lamest analogy, or what?!]
Being in a relationship is complicated enough; overanalyzing whether a friend/ date/ some random stranger could be “The One” is pushing things a little too far. The fun is in discovering whether you can make good music together [I don’t mean that in a sleazy way!]. Maybe this point doesn’t help too much, but if the person is right for you, you will know. No wordy explanations needed. The fact that you’re taking pains to explain why the two of you are or should be good together means… you’re really not so good together.
Anyhoo, I'll indulge you and play the game. So here - I want a guy who will fascinate me. It might be too vague a description, but for now it will do. No, I’m not looking for someone who’s consciously being mysterious, or who has a very extreme hobby/passion, or the misunderstood but sensitive rebel. I just want someone who will… fascinate me. Damn, I’m really not good at explaining myself, am I?
And finally, I’m waiting for that guy [say it with me!] with that slow, sweet smile. cooooooooorny…